My Immortal with My Epic Commentary
by Dreamer-Girl96
Summary: A reposting of the most scary and disturbing story to ever be written and put on Fanfiction! Hopefully my commentary makes it more funny than painful.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)** (Ha...ha…ha.)** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **(*snorts* Good to know)** raven, bloodytearz666 **(THE DEVILS NUMBER! Oohhh xD)** 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.** (If this is your spelling fixed…I HATE to know what it looked like before)** U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **(Obviously your parents couldn't agree on names. And what's with the random ' in "Darkness"?)** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **(Oh your parents are original.) **with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **(Limpid tears? Ok then…whatever floats your depressing boat)** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) **(Unfortunately Evanescence is one of my favorite bands so I can't leave Dx)**. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white **(Noooo I thought that since you're a vampire they would be pink!)**. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) **(NO WAY! I THOUGHT U WERE A PREP!)** and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic **(*hangs head* I love that store. I'm just like Ebony Dx *runs off to burn frequent shopper card*) **and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation **(Ebony, dear, you don't need to be any paler…)**, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **(Snowing AND raining. Ooh, take note of that people)** so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **(Well aren't YOU good with people?)**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy! **(My future husband3)**

"What's up Draco?" I asked. **(The sky. Duhh.)**

"Nothing." he said shyly. **(*falls over laughing* DRACO? SHY? Hahahaha that's good—ohmyGod she was serious Dx)**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **(Good, STAY AWAY! FAR FAR AWAY!)**

AN: IS it good? **(No. This story is the Rebecca Black of fanfiction!)** PLZ tell me fangz!

**AN from the normal one: This is so painful Dx but I am going to face my fears and do it.**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta!** (Obviously she isn't helping enough…)** BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **(Oh OBVIOUSLY their preps since their flaming your story.)**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again.** (OMG AGAIN? No. Way.)** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had **(That's the breakfast of champions…)** My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet **(HA! YOU SAID PINK! YOUR AUTOMATICALLY A PREP NOW!)** with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace **(Woooow)**, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **(You named your friend after a tree? O.o)** woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes **(Wait, she grinned at you BEFORE she opened her eyes? That would creep me out! But then again, this IS Ebony who invented creepy.)**. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **(I never would have guessed…)**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **(OMG, like no way!)**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **(VAMPIRES DON'T BLUSH!)**

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **(NO SHE DOESN'T YOU TALKING TREE! Draco is mine!)**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me. **(Speak of the devil and he shall appear)**

"Hi." he said. **(Oh great conversationalist)**

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **(*cough* flirt *cough*)**

"Guess what." he said. **(What?)**

"What?" I asked. **(Hey that's what I said!)**

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **(…*headdesk* a muggle band? In Hogsmeade? Gahh!)**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **(No one cares Ebony!)**

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked. **(NO SHE DOESN'T!)**

I gasped. **(Don't do it Ebony! OR I WILL KILL YOU!)**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! **(And again, automatically they are preps)** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reviews **(*spits out orange soda* Whoa, whoa, WHOA! This story actually got good reviews? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?)**! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! **(Raven we hate you.)** oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **(It's a good thing too!)**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. **(We get it…your "goffic")** I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists **(…Ok 1, if your going on a date with Draco freaking Malfoy how can you be depressed? And 2, how can you be so casual about it? Sicko.)**. I read a depressing book **(Well I didn't think it'd be a book about unicorns) **while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway **(She NOW just realized this?)**. I drank some human blood **(I'm surprised she didn't drink unicorn blood…just saying.)** so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner **(NOOOO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DRACO Dx His father will hear about this! *runs off to find Lucius* **(AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **(*runs back* Whoa, she says "depressed voice" but she says it with an exclamation point?** **Well done Ebony, she can accomplish two impossible things at once)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz **(I TOLD Mr. Weasley he should have got a patent on that. He could have sued them! Then we'd be reading an exciting court case…)** (the license plate said 666) **(Why am I not surprised?)** and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs **(SMOKING WILL KILL YOUR LIVER AND YOU'LL DIE!...wait….KEEP SMOKING!)** When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). **(K…)**

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club **(Club? I thought you were in Hogsmeade! I'm so confused Dx) **with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad **(You have a way with men Ebony)**.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on **(Dummy)**.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. **(I wish you did because then I could swoop in and save Draco and turn him back to his arrogant self that I am REALLY missing right now)**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively **(…now she's gone too far. You can turn him into a goth but when you make him sensitive is when you cross the line! YOU ANIMAL! *runs off sobbing*) **and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **(Yea you WISH you were as cool as Hilary Duff XD)**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer **(Was there no security there to, I don't know, ARREST YOU?)** and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them **(I THOUGH VAMPIRES DIDN'T SHOW UP IN PHOTO'S! Unless she's the sparkly kind… in which case I'm gonna go curl up in my sock drawer and cry)**. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back **(Wait, you CRAWLED? Were you that drunk? Shesh!)** into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest! **(YES! He's finally come to his senses and is gonna toss Ebony to Aragog!)**


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY **(I'm so confused…) **nut mary su **(*snorts* She isn't the brightest crayon in the box is she?)** OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! **(Yea, you WISH!) **dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **(Trying to kill you off I hope.)**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously **(Curiosity killed the gothic psycho—er I mean cat…)**.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **(Anger issues just don't go away, Ebony. Just saying…)**

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped. **(Cranky little goffic druggie, ain't she?)**

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **(…I'm not even going to begin to talk about what I am thinking right now)**

And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately **(Makes total sense)**. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly** (Keenly? O.o)** against a tree **(You made out on Willow? Weirdo's.)**. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. **(…just no. No.)**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. **(EW EW EW)** And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was...Dumbledore! **(*headdesk*)**


	5. Chapter 5

**R&R! **

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **(You heard her, don't "flam" it!)** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! **(Excuses, EXCUSES!)** PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **(Ugh, apparently there are some people as screwed up as Ebony…)**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **(*snorts* good insult Dumbles)**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face **(Uh, you should really see a doctor about that)**. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. **(ROFL-ing)**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **(Mediocre dunce? I used that on my friend and she gave me a look like "Whaa?")**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape. **(Yea, you tell them Snape!)**

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **(I just pictured Draco shrieking that…*falls to floor laughing*)**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **(WHY SNAPE, WHYY? You're the professor I can count on to send Ebony to the dungeons!)**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out...

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing "I just wanna live" by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there **(Dude why would you care? You just had sex in the Forbidden Forest, which is FORBIDDEN. Heh, heh, heh, see what I did there. Forbidden— aww forget it)**. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. **(*waiting in there with a baseball bat, duct tape, and some rope*)**


	6. Chapter 6

AN: shjt up prepz ok! **(I'm not a prep AT ALL but after this I am considering changing that just so I'm not like you…)** PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

The next day I woke up in my coffin **(Well I woke up in my BED. HA!)**. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **(Ew you must smell like a sharpie. Now people are going to be sniffing your head all day to get high off it)**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood **(Ewww! I will never eat Count Chocula or look at red punch the same way again Dx)**. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **(Whoever did that, bless you)**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily **(Ebony, dear, we really need to work on your people skills)**. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. **(Who is it O.o)** He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore **(Oh God, please no. I beg of you. NOO) **and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore **(NONONONO!)**. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden **(NOOO!)**. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl **(Really?...are you sure?)** so I didn't get one you sicko **(Oh yes, WE'RE the sicko's here)**.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice. **(You should be sorry…you should have pulled a Tom and Jerry and dropped a piano on her head instead)**

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned. **(I love how she's only nice about it after seeing that he was hot and "goffic")**

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **(Someone slap me…just please. Put me out of my misery)**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **(He…giggled? O.O)**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered. **(*pat's his shoulder* Yes I know, she scares me too.)**

"Yeah." I roared. **(RUMBLEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR)**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **(If he asks you if you want some "candy"…TAKE IT! PLEASE PUT US ALL OUT OF OUR MISERY)**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you to those who have reviewed and subscribed! Keep those reviews coming. They make me happy ^_^. I shouldn't have done this at 1:42am because now I keep checking under my bed looking for Ebony o.o. Ok, I'm done now. Let's go on to Ebony's crap.**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws **(*assembles angry mob to track down the good reviewers*)**. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **(Vons? Maybe she IS a vampire. I vant to suck your blood, bleh! ...ignore me)** STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS **(Oh good, she's gonna go far in life) **n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **(Heh heh heh…*childish voice* yooooou saaaaaid God!)**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish **(Whatever THAT is)** (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?) **(Very much so)**. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco **(No he's depressed 'Cuz look what you did to him!)**. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then...**(Then what? You jumped out a window together because your so in love and depressed and you both fell down to the ground with a SPLAT!)**

We started frenching passively **(Damn it. My version was better) **and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically **(Hey! There could be CHILDREN in the audience!)**. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra **(Leather bra? Daaaamn that must be uncomfortable! No wonder you're so depressed!)** and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) **(Very. Much. So!)**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words... Vampire! **(…Oh…my…God. She didn't…)**

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily** (We get it. Your angry)**, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **(SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH! QUICK, KILL HER!)**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **(Well…that's not very nice.)**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked **(Draco stop! SHE'S NOT WORTH IT!)**. He had a really big you-know-what **(We didn't need to know that) **but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **(Your a sweetheart, you know that?)**


	8. Chapter 8

AN: stop flassing ok!** (How can you mix up "flaming" with "flassing" dumbass…)** if u do den u r a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back. **(AGAIN, SHE'S NOT WORTH IT!)**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly. **(He screamed sadly? O.o)**

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione **(HERMIONE? WTF? YOU HORRID BITCH!) **was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it **(Everyone is depressed in this story!)**. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **(Dude, you can't switch houses! And you automatically paint Slytherin as the bad guys and Gryffindor as the preps. ITS THAT KIND OF STEROTYPE THAT'S DIVIDING THE HOUSE'S APART!)**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit** (Ridiculous dimwit? Snape really needs to get an insult book.)**!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him. **(Well can you blame him? You're terrifying!)**

Everyone gasped. **(*eating popcorn eagerly*)**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. **(Whoa, what's with the random P.O.V change?) **I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) **(Good to know…)** for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker** (*snorts* I find it absolutely hilarious that "Hit Me Baby One More Time" just came on the radio xD)**. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **(Admit it, you used to be a prep but they all turned on you)**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. **(The first step to solving anger problems is admitting that you have A SERIOUS PROBLEM!) **I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility **(*facepalm*) **to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! **(YOU'RE THE MOTHER FUCKING WRITER! And Dumbledore doesn't cuss in the movie either!)** besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! **(Excuses, EXCUSES!)** and da reson snap** (Snap? Oh Snape. I didn't know he became a Rice Krispy)** dosent lik harry now is coz hes Christian and vampire is a satanist! **(WOOOOW)** MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad **(Whoaa check out Ebony, she's learning to rhyme!)**. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.** (LEAVE WILLOW OUT OF THIS!)**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything **(And "everything" O.o) **started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose **(You mentioned that)** (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic **(I never thought I'd say this but I LOVE YOU VOLDY AND I WANT YOU TO KILL OFF EVERYONE!)**. It was... Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him **(O.o they invented a spell where Hermione's cat fly's out of wands and attacks people? AWESOME!)**. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream **(Voldemort…screaming? Well I guess if I had a giant fur ball of a cat clawing at me I would scream too.)**. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped** (No you felt bad for Voldy BECAUSE you're a Satanist)**.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **(Thou? What is he learning how to speak Shakespearen? And I HIGHLY doubt that Voldy would call HARRY by his school nickname.)**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **(*standing ovation* Well done! She finally put it together! *whispers to random person* Dumbass)**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back. **(Ooh your on first name basis?)**

Voldemort gave me a gun **(What if everyone in the books had guns? That'd make killing Death Eaters so much easier. They'd be all "SUCK THIS BITCH" and then BAM!)**. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **(Voldemort sounds so smarticle right now…*GASP* HE'S TALKING LIKE A MUGGLE WRITER! THAT'S WRONG!)**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. **(It's VOLDEMORT! He is like SATAN himself…so why the hell aren't you worshipping him?)**

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face **(I'd love to see Voldy with that look on his face…)**. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly **(*headdesk* TELEKINESIS IS WHEN YOU MOVE THINGS WITH YOUR MIND YOU IGNORANT SAVAGE!)**. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **(VOLDY WAIT DX YOU WERE OUR ONLY HOPE TO KILLING HER CUZ EVERYONE ELSE IS TOO AFRAID OF HER TO!)**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" **(…dude you just embarrassed him in front of like EVERYONE while he was naked and you're in the middle of the Forbidden Forest where you were just threatened by Voldemort and all you say is "Hi!"? Someone. Call. An. Insane. Asylum. Now.)**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) **(Hahaha—NO)** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. **(Ebony, you have an unhealthy obsession with these two. I feel so bad for them…)**

"Are you okay?" I asked. **(OF COURSE HE'S NOT OKAY YOU BABBLING BUMBLING BABOON!)**

"No." he answered. **(See? What'd I tell ya?)**

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled **(Yea, I WISH you got expelled)**.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **(…I have nothing to say on this…)**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thanks for reviewing and adding this to your favorites everyone! Oh, if anyone likes Kingdom Hearts, you should check out me and my friend's story that's on this account. If you like Axel and Cloud and OC's then go read it please! Ok, now on to Ebony's shit.**

AN: stup it u gay fags **(Your calling US gay?)** if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! **(I wish I could leave…)**ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **(When is she going to get it through her thick head that that is not possible!**

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day **(NO DIP YOU FUCKING MORON!)**. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666 **(O.M.F.G just kill me. Roses are MY thing! Ask anyone! I am like KNOWN in my school for my love of black roses.)**. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR **(Yea you wish you were that cool.)**. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary **(Poor Hermione)**, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now **(Diabolo? YOU HORRID BITCH YOU TURNED HIM INTO AN ILLEGAL MEXICAN!)**. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it **(*jaw drops* you…you…took away his beautiful ginger locks? *grabs pitchfork and torch along with an angry mob* YOU WILL PAY!) **.) and Hargrid **(Hagrid? Wha—what is wrong with you!)**. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming **(No they just don't wanna see you!) **and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists **(I love how you're so okay with that. Sicko.) **(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) **(*snort* Is that like a dirty word to you Satanists or something? CROSS!)** or a steak **(A stake you mean? 'Cuz I don't think you can kill vampires with a piece of meat!)**) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride **(That is so hardcore and depressing. I bet they ride unicorns too *facepalm*)**. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not **(You really, REALLY are)**.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears **(You finally came to the conclusion that you're a prep and no one likes you?)**.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily **(O.O yeshh. Touchy.)**. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry **(I thought you dubbed him "Vampire" now)**! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice **(…So you're not gonna kill him 'Cuz he's nice…not 'Cuz it's morally WRONG!)**, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.  
>Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. <strong>(*screams and falls off bed in shock*<strong> **Oh, heez Draco you scared me! I thought you were a boggart, I hate those things.)**

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" **(Everyone in this story is so nice to one another. But then again, Ebony deserves it.)** (c is dat out of character?) **(Yes, yes it is.) **

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive **(SENSITIVE? MY DRACO? THAT IS JUST…*pulls out baseball bat* where is the writer? TARA NEEDS TO DIE!)**. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour **(Your boyfriend just ran out crying and you start your little band practice again? Why is the song HEARTLESS running through my head right now?)**. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.** (Nah it's 'Cuz he saw you!)**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely** (I wish I could cry wisely…)**. (c dats basically nut swering **(Basically not? He didn't swear at all!)** and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) **(I told you it's because he saw you!)** "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **(WOO! ONE DOWN! *starts conga line*…*halts in conga line* wait, I thought you said he couldn't die? WHAT. THE. HELL?)**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and put this story on their favorites! I'm glad you like pointing and laughing at Ebony as much as I do!**

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid **(No they aren't stupid…THEY ARE DISTURBING AS FUCK!)**!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus **(Oh yes, 'Cuz your all about the teaching!)**! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! **(Raven we hate you!)**

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied **(Horrorfied? Too late…)**! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **(Wow you're so nice *snort*) **and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting **(I just had mental image of that…*laughs into pillow*)** but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way **(…Ebony you're the one who's a perv! Besides, Dumbledore is gay as the Fourth of July.)**.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood **(Again, you NEED to see a docter about that) **and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes **(Well we all know she's wearing black and not white so she should be good XD)** so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily **(Oh yea, my boyfriend just died so I'm gonna take a nice bath. With bubbles. Because I deserve bubbles on my skin.)** while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak **(Ebony, now is not the time for a Filet Mignon!) **and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide **(Ohh THAT kinda "stake"….DO IT! Quick, before someone comes and interferes! Don't take no for an answer! Just stick that sucker in your heart! Or I'll do it for you!)**. I was so fucking depressed **(I've noticed, believe it or not)**! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings **(Even after her boyfriend's death she finds the time to describe her never ending outfits)**. I couldn't fucking believe it **(I know, it's so selfish of you!)**. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it **(…*grabs baseball bat and starts beating myself with it* WHYYY?)**! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT! **(No that would be you Ebony. Everyone, save the children!)**" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it **(Wait, I thought you were already dressed O.o)**. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra **(*flowers poof out of wand* Wrong spell! 20 points from Gryffindor!)**!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb **(I am legitly dying right now. WOMB? BWAHAHAHAHA!)**. I took my gun **(Muggle weapon= A no-no at Hogwarts) **and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has – NOOOOOOOOOOOOO **(*running in slow mo and says in dragged out deep voice* NOOOOOOOOOOO)**!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly...

Hargrid ran outside on his broom **(He ran on his broom? Why doesn't he, I don't know…FLY? And do you mean he ran INSIDE?) **and said everyone we need to talk **(Good timing bro)**.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" **(NO HE IS A FUCKING PROFESSOR/HALF GIANT!)**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **(I'm so confused as to what is going on…)**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him **(WHAT THE HELL! Him and Lupin, oh excuse me, "Loopin" should be DEAD! They were hit with "Avada Kedevra" AND shot. GAHH!)**. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. **(I'm so confused Dx)**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **(I wish you would faint so that I can swoop in, kill you, and run off with the NORMAL Draco happily into the sunset.)**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **(Doing what? HE'S THE ONE WHO—Oh forget it!)**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint **(*Opens mouth to say something then closes it and shakes head*)**.

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent **(What. The. Hell?)**.

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!" **(*wails*)**


	12. Chapter 12

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu **(Uh I live in America and yes that CAN be true but we don't need to read about it…)**! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **(Cedric is DEADRIC and because it's Snap—er Snape!)**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago **(I assume you mean Draco. Random fact that you probably know, Draco is Latin for Dragon ^_^) **had given me in case anything happened to him **(Oh that's a lovely present. Maybe on your anniversary he can give you A CHAINSAW!)**. He had told me to use it valiantly **(Ooh she used a big word.)** against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together **(Go where? To hell? Ok! It's really nice this time of year! Not that I would know or anything… *shifty eyes*)**.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS **(I am about to die from laughing at the thought of Daniel Radcliffe as Harry running around screaming, "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!")**!" and then... his eyes rolled up **(Ewie)**! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. "How did u know?" **(How did he know what? How Pretty Little Liars ends? 'Cuz I wanna know…)**

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt **(:D If we're lucky, he'll go back to his canon and then turn everyone else back to canon and then shoot Ebony OUT of a cannon!)**!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore **(HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE THAT SCAR!)**!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram **(*snort* What'd he do? Carve one on your forehead—oh…) **for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt **(His scar senses were tingling!)** and it turned back into the lightning bolt **(YES!)**! Save me **(NO!)**! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage **(You mean hostage? I don't know who this "Volfemort" is, but I love you!)**!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office **(I believe it is called…THE HOSPITAL WING!) **now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID **(Why is Hagrid's name always giant? Is that supposed to be funny? 'Cuz it's NOT!) **were there too. They were going to St. Mango's **(St. Mango's? What is that? A giant, magical, mango?)** after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz **(I hope you aren't including yourself in with those "hot gurlz" . *Sassy voice* 'Cuz girl, you so ugly you make blind kids cry!)**. Dumbledore had constipated **(He should try more fiber in his diet.)** the cideo camera they took of me naked **(BURN IT!)**. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses **(Well that's nice, I guess. But there's gotta be a catch!)**

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway **(Didn't you're parents ever teach you to be GRATEFUL! This kid needs a spanking…) (That sounded wrong…) **and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik **(*Assumes wise position* Young Ebony, never fight fire with fire. You shall just get a bigger fire…hehehe we all know that's not true XD *Goes to get a knife to stab Ebony with*)**.

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses **(Tulips? Daffodils? Snapdragons?)**."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses **(So you're mad 'Cuz he bought u the wrong gift? Brat.)**.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video **(What's Paris got to do with this?) **made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin **(Yea but you would have ended up committing suicide or something if it got out so technically he did…DAMN YOU HAGRID!)**." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)** (Yes it is.) **to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly. **(Angirly…the girly way of being angry!)**

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely **(YOU? WISE! BWHAHAHAHAHA XD)**.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes **(*snorts*)**." Then he screamed **(*jumps a mile* WHAT THE? IS THERE A DYING DOG SOMEWHERE? Oh it's just you Hagrid)**. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo **(. Whatso?)**!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep. **(Is ANYONE in this story a prep?)**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako **(What the fuck is Draco? Draco is a poor, arrogant, yet extremely sexy, guy that is under your evil "goffic" spell…oh she meant WHERE the fuck is Draco.)**?"

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing **(Stick your head into it and look. I dare you.)**.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT **(…No.)**) u mst find urslf 1st, k **(They lost it a looong time ago…just saying…)**?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN **(I just pictured him saying that like a little girl and laughed like a hyena.)**!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back **(Dude, when are you going to accept the fact that he never had a headache and you are just an IDIOT!)**.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!" **(What is he TALKING about?)**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off! **(If I hadn't watched the end of that movie with my cousin I could have left DX)**) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **(Am I the only one getting EXTREMELY sick of her annoying, CONSTANT outfit descriptions?)**

"You look kawai **(What the fuck does that mean…)**, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit **(You used this joke at the very beginning. It wasn't funny then, and it's not funny now)**) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed **(Right in front of her? O.o) **and I sucked all the blood **(Eww DX)**. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time **(Why they would want to in the first place I shall never understand.)**. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures **(Hair of Magical Magic Creatures? XD Is that like identifying what hair goes to what creature?)**. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff **(Wait, I'm a Hufflepuff…YOU ARE DRINKING FROM ONE OF MY PEEPS! I WILL RESCUE YOU MY FELLOW HUFFLEPUFF!)**.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back **(Who says "Hi back"?)**." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other **(:O in front of the Hufflepuff? THAT POOR THING!)**.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle **(Yea, YOU TELL THEM MCGOGGLE!) **who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco **(Oh yea I can see her thought process now, "Oh shit! There are people here and one of those poser preps might tell Draco I fucked Vampire! I better pretend he's trying to rape me so that people don't think I'm a slut! I should slap him too!")**!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS **(XD I will never NOT laugh at the thought of Daniel Radcliffe doing that.)**!" and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **(I think Ebony is getting a little forgetful. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS!)**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back **(O.o I think he's getting forgetful too)**. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage **(What. The. Hell? WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS!)**!"

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS **(YOU'RE THE WRITER! NOT HER!)**!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER **(BURN THE SWEATER RAVEN!)**I


	13. Chapter 13

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom **(You stole her poster? THIEF!)**! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore **(*snickers* Can you imagine them skipping through Hogwarts saying in a sing-song voice, "Duuumbledore? Ohh Dumblydoree? Come out, come out, wherever you areee!")**!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs **(Yeshh he's getting a little sassy there!)**?" he asked angrily.

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time **(At the same time? That takes some major skill right there.)**.

He laughed in an evil voice. **(…if she turns him into a Death Eater I will shoot myself…)**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. **(Yes! Let them go! There's a big chance they won't come back!)**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away **(Wow, I love that attitude! "Eh, I didn't really like him anyway so I don't care if he dies.")**. Vampire started crying. "My Draco **(HE IS MINE DAMN IT!)**!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot! **(No I really don't! I have nothing against them or anything though!)**)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood **(Ugh, him too?)**. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed. **(Had? As in past tense?)**

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then... suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair **(Voldemort got his own lair? He's moving up in the world! I wonder if it's like the batcave? That'd be awesome :D…and why the hell would he not put a charm on it so that they can't apparate in there! Unless it's a trap…KILL 'EM VOLDY!)**!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice **(A croon voice? O.o)** say. "Allah Kedavra **(That's not the spell! Here, *whips out wand* Let me show you the REAL killing curse. Ebony can be our test subject…)**"  
>It was... Voldemort <strong>(Well I didn't think it would be Dobby!)<strong>!


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and subscribed and added this story to their favorites. It makes me smile :D so keep those reviews coming and I'll keep the chapters coming!**

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists **(Not surprising AT ALL. I just wish you didn't come back…)**. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws **(She lieeeeeeees. She has more chapters after this Dx unless she actually got 10 good reviews which I do NOT find possible.)**!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY **(YOUR WHOLE STORY IS EXTREMELY SCARY TARA!)**. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Volcemort **(I love how his name keeps changing.) **was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was **(Fat guy who killed Cedric, good way to describe him xD)**. Draco was there crying tears of blood **(GAHH! MORE BLOOD TEARS!)**. Snaketail **(Snaketail? She got rid of the worm too Dx)** was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps **(See Ebony, even Wormy knows you're a prep! It's too late for you!)**!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun **(Where are all these guns coming from? Out Ebony's ass? Ooh no WONDER she's so messed up!)** he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes **(No, no, NO! She got to him too Dx. Were too laaaaate.)**. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok **(Ugh…)**)

"Huh?" I asked.  
>"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me <strong>(Does every friking guy in this story want to screw her? Is this how Tara try's to feel better about herself? By making all these ugly old guys want to get in her pants?)<strong>?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely **(I just tried to laugh crudely. I sounded like a hyena having a spaz attack.)**. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you **(Wouldn't surprise me AT ALL!)**? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard **(Just to be clear…you would fuck him if he didn't torture your boyfriend?)**." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain **(Ew)**.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around **(I wish I could run around with my blood was shooting out of me xD)**. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly **(WHY WOULD YOU CRY?)**.

"Snaketail what art thou doing **(More Shakespeare talk…)**?" called Voldemort. Then... he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us **(High heels? *falls off bed laughing* I'M GONNA DIE XD)**. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. **(Yea I cry when I have guns stuck up my ass too.)**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw **(What. The. Fuck?)**. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah **(Yes, believe it or not we get it)**) and a really huge you-know-what and everything **(Why does everyone have everything? It's not fair! DX)**.

"Its so unfair **(Yea it is! We should all have everything too! Except you, 'Cuz you don't deserve it.)**!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." **(She's so modest too…hehehehe she just called Willow ugly XD)**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts **(Draco, honeybear, listen. I'm going to let you in on a little secret…YOUR DATING A SLUT NOW!)**." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me **(*raises hand* I'm not! *grins proudly* you scare me!)**! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked **(Don't remind me)**. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me **(He WAS. Remember? You, like, totally shot him dead XD)**! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan **(Why couldn't God smite you right now…)** have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty **(She's a snob and a major slut.)**) "Im good at too many things **(…no comment…)**! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL **(FINALLY! FINALLY SHE ADMITS THAT SHE NEEDS TO BE NORMAL! *stroking a baseball bat* Like me.)**? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away **(Don't hurry back.)**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: You guys keep me going with this story :D Reviews would be nice ^_^**

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz **(Does she honestly think that'll stop us from flaming? *whips out flame thrower*)**! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back** ("BABY COME BACK! BABY COME BACK TO MEEE! IN MY HEART I STILL BELIEVE, WE WERE MEANT TO BE!" No, you are not meant to be with Ebony. YOUR MINE DAMMIT!)**!"

But I was too mad **(When AREN'T you mad or depressed?)**.

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire **(No that would be you my dear. And what did Draco do? You're the one who's flipping shit because you think you're too perfect!)**!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed **(Always. Depressed.)**. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class **(Hogwarts doesn't even have—OH FORGET IT!)**.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters **(I'm so sick of these outfit descriptions! Gah!)**. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual **(Omg SHUT UP!)**. I did sum advanced Biology work **(Advanced? What the fuck…)**. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco **(The guitar turned into Draco? O.o)**!

"Enoby I love you **(What for? Oh yea, she's got him under his spell…"I PUT A SPELL ON YOOOUUU! AND NOW YOUR MINEEE!")**!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world **(Seriously, what is he on? Crack? Coke?)**. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time **(Funny, after I read this now I want to commit suicide!)**. Now I just wanna fucking be with you **(Pot? Marijuana? Any of these names ringing a bell to you Drakie?)**. I fucking love you!." Then... he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson **(How can you sound like a cross of that many people? He probably sounds like a laughing unicorn. NEEEIGHHHH!) **(AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

"OMFG **(PREP!)**." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now **(I don't care)**) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story **(If you hate Hilary Duff and preps so much then why are you watching that movie? I happen to love that movie myself though. But I'm not all goth so I don't count.)**. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether **(Me and Draco would look so much better together. Just saying. And how many people clap at people who look sexy together? NO ONE!)**. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then **(ANOTHER CONCERT?)**. We looked at each other all shocked **(Why are you shocked? Nothing make's sense in this damn story) **and then we went 2gether.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: So thank you people for adding this story to their favorites and subscribing! I fjucking love you! Drop a review for me. Hugs and butterfly kisses!**

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz **(*looks down at black outfit* Yea, I'm no nut prep)**! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis** (YOU'RE THE WRITER!)**! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis **(Wooow)**! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese **(I thought Britney was a prep name XD)**!

We ran happily to Hogsmede **(:O she's actually…happy?)**. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly **(Yep, it wasn't a typo. She's happy.)**. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy **(Oh my God, shut up! This is almost as annoying as her being depressed! God damn!)**! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection **(Ew. Ew. Ew.)** but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother **(No, he's mine!)**. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask **(He was wearing a mask? O.o)**. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,... Volsemort and da Death Dealers **(Death Dealers XD. They deal out death!)**!

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily **(You're already there!)**. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

"What cause we...you know..." he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. **(Okay now you're just a total IDIOT! All of my guy friends have no problem talking about "you-know-what." Then again, I have some dirty minded friends…but I love them :D)**

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice **(*snort* You weren't complaining before.)**.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT." **(Like that'll work.)**

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream **(O.o what does that even MEAN?)**?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina **(A Christian you mean? Unless you cut his balls off so that he's a girl. But then he would be Dracona XD) **or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly **(How do you mutter loudly?)**.

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily **(Just because he said they were gonna have an escort?)**.

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened **(You mean Vampire took my advice to drop a falling piano on you?) **cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! **(…oh yea that's real love right there.)**

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while **(I love how she has to make sure we know that their frenching xD)** and I went up 2 my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in Japanese **(Wow she's just so smart…)**). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." **(XD so she's taking out her anger by expelling the character that Raven is based off of? LMFAO!) **(an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily **(I actually feel sort of sorry for Raven. I wouldn't want Ebony mad at me for anything o.o)**.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas **(You are so hardcore.)**. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak **(O.O *edges away* I'm not gonna lie…I'm a little afraid right now.)**."

"Kawai." I commnted happily **(Pyscho!)**. We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie **(How do you talk in silence?)**.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr **(YOU ALREADY WENT! Remember? My buddies the Death Dealers interrupted?)**." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping **(You guys sound like such preps XD!)**."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde **(I have one of—HEY! She stole mine that bitch!)**.

"No." My head snaped up.

"WHAT?" my head spuin **(Can you picture her head spinning around like in those horror movies and stuff? xD)**. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?" **(JUDGMENTAL!)**

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed **(Sound's more like a scream for help.)**. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me! **(…VAMPIRE!)**). Or me **(Don't you think you would like REMEMBER if you had told her? That's gotta be the drugs talking.)**.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms **(Yes their brooms are on speed dial XD)**."

"OMFFG **(Oh my fucking Fred xD? Or is it a typo?)**DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly **(Quietly? Then why is it in all caps?)**.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk **(So then he wasn't the one who TOLD you about it dumbass!)**." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE **(Makes TOTAL sense.) **and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs **(Whoever this guy is like DESERVES Ebony. Ditch Draco for him! I'll comfort Draco…)**."

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked **(At the same time? You guys are geniuses.)**.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man **(Like you. And Ebony. And everyone else.)**! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch **(That totally makes them posers. Trying to buy a camera pouch.)**." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera **(Why the hell would YOU know?)**."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN **(Oh please God no)**!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit **(*screams in horror* OHMYGOD! Oh it's just Ebony! Geez I thought you were a boggart I'm terrified of those things!)**.

"Oh my satan **(Don't say that! Say what my moms 2 year old Goddaughter said when I caught her talking to a doll when she was supposed to be napping. "Oh my G!" Cutest thing ever.) **you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said. **(I can almost hear the Scarf of Sexual Preference now xD. A Very Potter Musical reference btw ^_^)**

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit **(Who thinks he should be fired? *raises hand*)**. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA **(Lolololol she even got rid of the Raven in her name! XD) **way what's yours?"

"Tom Rid **(*wail*)**." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair **(Tommy-boy's hair is already black! He doesn't need to dye it!)**. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv **(I love how she automatically assumes he's coming on to her.)**!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" **(Go. Fly. Be free Ebony bird.)**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Thanks for adding me to their favorites list and subscribing! Review and I just might live to see the end of this.**

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it **(Right now I really wish I was -_-)**! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr **(You stole her poster and kill her off and expect her to come back? Wait, she can spell somewhat better. RAVEN COME BACK!)**!

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free **(And again, he should get fired. No, he should be ARRESTED by the wizard cops.)**. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual **(Everyone in this story is!)**). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily **(Yea, I'd probably be angry if he was shooting me too.)**. "Fuck off you fjucking **(Fjucking has become my new favorite word.)** bastard." Well anyway Willow came **(*snorts* Oh wow. You try to win Raven back by resurrecting her character and pretending she never got expelled?)**. Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said. **(I wonder what my best friend would do if I greeted her with, "Hey bitch.")**

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything **(Now she's trying to butter Raven up xD)**. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic **(That's not a good thing…)**.

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked **(IT ALREADY HAPPENED— Oh screw you! *stomps off to make hot tea*) **.

"I'm gong with Diabolo **(*Runs back* STOP USING THAT NAME DX! My poor Ron! *sobs*)**." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson **(*wails*)**. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart **(B'loody Mart? Is that a "goffic" store or something?)** was going 2 da concert wif Dracola **(Who's he?)**. Dracola used to be called Navel **(Navel who is— *realizes* AW HELL NO! YOU DID NOT DRAG POOR NEVILLE INTO YOUR SICK, TWISTED STORY! NONONONO!)** but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires **(Geez is Hermione his sister or something 'Cuz I'm getting some MAJOR deja vou.)**. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now **(*In closet curled up in a little ball and whimpering* Is she done talking about how she ruined Neville now? Oh good. *comes out*)**. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik **(No I don't get it)**) that his dad Lucian **(IT'S LUCIUS!)** gave him. We did pot, coke and crak **(I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON DRACO'S BRAIN WAS SCREWED UP ENOUGH TO GO OUT WITH YOU!)**. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there...I gapsed. **(Why does she always have dots in front of, "I gasped". That's not dot worthy!)**

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva **(You've already told us this…repeatedly…)**! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic **(Ethnic? How does THAT make sense? O.o) **voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez **(Whoa, deja vou AGAIN!)**. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was...Vlodemort and da Death Deelers **(THEIR BAAAAAACK!)**!

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed **(I love how he goes from "moronic idiots" to words like "thou")**. And now...I shall kill thou and Draco!" **(Thou sounds like thy is running out of Shakespearen vocabulary)**

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife **(Oh sure, he has a wand but lets go straight for the muggle weapon.)**.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick **(O.O No…no…nooooo!)**. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread **(GOD NO! DON'T DO THIS TO ME! Dx I CAN'T HANDLE IT DX)**. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was...DUMBLYDORE **(I am going to go jump in the middle of traffic now…)**!


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Thank you so much to those who reviewed and added this story to their favorites and all! I'm glad that I can bring a smile, considering how TERRIFYING this thing is.**

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep **(Every single chapter starts out with her screaming at us. *sniff* It hurts my feelings…heh just kidding. It makes me laugh.)**! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep **(You both are nut preps)**. fangz for muh sewter **(Sewter? Oh sweater!)**! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der **(*headdesk*)**!

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it **(You walked out of your coffin? Don't you, like, CLIMB out O.o?) **and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed **(Blood-bed? Ok then . . .)** lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it **(So. Many. Outfit. Descriptions…I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE DX)**.

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth **(*yawn* Skull…School…I get it.)**). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away **(But not before he yelled, "Voldemort out bitches." xD)**. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it **(I don't care)**. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what **(You-know-what? What are you? Five?) **to a Linkin Park song **(How…romantic?)**.)

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant **(Pink pant? There were pink pants everywhere? Weird O.o) **underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys **(Those aren't pastors silly! I don't see them going around teaching people about God.)**.

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs **(MY thighs? O.O *flees*)** and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi **(UGH! LEAVE MY BOYS OUT OF YOUR OBSSESSED DISCUSSION!)**.

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel **(NEVILLE! Dx WHYYYYYYYY?) **was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. **(Dumbledore has a bunny? Cool! But why would he dye it black? What if that dye was bad for animals? Speaking of bunnies, my nickname for one of my best friends, Cody, is Thumper xD He's a baaaad bunny.)**

"...DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort **(If he wasn't scared off by you then there is NOTHING on this earth that could scare him off.)**!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor **(My best friend Liz has a Gryffindor mug even though she's a Slytherin T-T) **started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted **(Disfusted- A combination of disgusted and fussed!) **and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.

"BTW you can call me Albert **(Albert? His name is Albus you fucking retard! And he will expel you if you call him Albus, according to Starkid!)**." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way **(How do you cry blood in a gothic way. Ugh.)** (geddit, way lik Gerard **(NOW she's REALLY pushing it.)**) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis **(Uh he's like 150. The mid-life crisis ship has SAILED!)**!" Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry.** (I'd recommend you see a psychiatrist about your anger problems but you'd probably kill her. I can see it know.**

**Psychiatrist: And how do you feel about that? **

**Ebony: SHUT THE FJUCK UP YOU PREP! YOUR SUCH A POSER! ABRA KEDEVRA!**

***Dumbledore's bunny pops out***

**Psychiatrist: Wrong spell dumbass.)**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: So ya know how in my previous chapter I said that I called my best friend Thumper? Well we had this long discussion and he wants to buy a black bunny and dye blue streaks on him…that's my boy -_- not that any of you really care. ANYWAY, here's Ebony. **

AN: plz **(Oh look, she learned how to say please!) **stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok **(*nods seriously* Yes, we are so jealous…*bursts out laughing* Look at that, I can't even TYPE it with a straight face xD)**!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz **(I understand absolutely NONE of that.) **!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod **(Okay…she either means a poor bloke, or a pureblood xD) **so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore **(Get over it.)**. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go **(*throws hands up* I give up!)**.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes **(You rebel xD)**. Draco was being all secretive **(He wants to dump you…God I wish.)**.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot **(Sensitive guys, meh it depends on HOW sensitive. Bi guys? No…)**).

"No one fucking understands me **(Your right, we really don't…)**!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare **(:O He stole my friend's bunny! Ooh you're in twoooouble. Ya know why? Well, you know how people say, "I know a guy." When they get really impossible items and stuff. He's that guy. *shudder*) **went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik **(She is so desperate to prove she's "goffic". It's hilarious!)**) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik **(No one email her!)**)

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled **(OMFG it is ALWAYS about her!)**.

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard **(What did he do?)**!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like **(It's not what WHAT looks like?)**!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door **(Draco, walk away while you can! Forget her!)**. I whipped and whepped **("I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!") **as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot. **(Good way to get over depression. Smoking.)**

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated **(You can't apparate in Hogwarts dammit! It's clearly stated in Hogwarts, A History!...I need to stop hanging with Hermione T-T)**.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room **(Well, what I would do is kill you there so that no one hears you scream :) hehe)**?"

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore. **(Does it take her awhile to focus in on who someone is or something?)**

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse **(I am going to die of laughter right now.)**. "What are u wearing to the concert **(Why do you want to know o.o)**?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u **(So do I. *hiding ninja sword behind back.)**."


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Thank you to all who reviewed and added this to your favorites. Keep it coming people 'Cuz it makes me SMILE!)**

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz **(She says she doesn't care, yet she's been like cutting herself because of her flames.)**!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz **(:O I wanna go to Transylvania! I would fit right in! WAIT! What if the villagers there thought she was an actual vampire and STABBED her with a stake :D…I wish T-T) ** so dnot expect updatz.

All day I wondered what the surprise was **(Maybe he finally remembered his real self and the "surprise" is a stake in her heart!)**. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple **(Urple? That sounds like a cartoon character.) **lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one **(Nooo why? I can't take anymore pointless concerts Dx)**. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR **(Uh it takes other people to mosh…)** in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes **(Okay, I will admit that black is one of my favorite colors and I dress mostly in it, but YOU are OBSESSED! I can't take it!)** and moshing **(You need other people to mosh…)** to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin **(Loooooooooooooooooopin. Hehe that's fun to say. Try it. Loooooooooooopin.)**! "R u gonna cum rape me or what **(And again, I don't see WHY he would want to.)**." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo **(Then why are they still in the school?)**.

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell **(Main reason I think she's secretly a prep wannabe; No goth makes annoying puns about how "goffic" they are.)**) kan I plz burrow sum condemns **(Why would Ebony have condoms? She's a girl!...I think….)**." he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh **(Daaaamn she's going straight for the kill.)**?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, gong away. **(Gong? Hehehe *beats stick against a gong*.)**

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped...Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 **(Important Service Announcement: The commentator is unable to comment at the moment because she is too busy beating herself with a bat trying to forget she just read what she did. Thank you for your patience.)**

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it)**(YOU ARE A SAD, SICK, TWISTED FREAK OF NATURE!)** but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now) **(*jaw drops*…sh—she….*faints*)**

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms **(Why ELSE would he want them? To make balloons like me and my friend did? No, really we did. We snuck one from my older brother's room and went out to my pool then blew it up like a balloon. Then my brother came outside and my friend had to shove it under the water before he saw. It was quite hilarious.)**?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat) **(Yes but you used it wrong!)**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily. **(If he gets pregnant I swear I'm gonna hunt Tara down and kill her.)**

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then...I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything **(O.O)**.

"Well xcuse me **(Am I the only one who pictured them snapping their fingers and getting all sassy? XD "Well excuuuuuse me!")**!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked **(Snarked. That is an awesome word. Snark attack, RAWR!)**. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it **(Ebony's thought process: "Their chasing me! *whips out wand* Time to defend myself! *throws it at them so they trip instead of being smart and casting a FUCKING SPELL!*)**. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot **(Inappropriate thoughts about someone who is NOT you're boyfriend!)**.

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum **(XD Well maybe you weren't turning him on! I'm sorry, that was dirty…couldn't resist.)**." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?"

Then... he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car **(*gasp* No. Way. I did not see that coming.)**. He said his dogfather **(Heh heh, I get it. Dogfather…Godfather…)** Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' **(Whyyyyy?)** on it.

...I gasped. **(Her dots are so annoying! What if we ALL did that? "You failed health class." "…*gasps*" "What's with the delayed reaction?" "Eh, it spice's things up.")**

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out **(*cough* gothic slut *cough*)**, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim **(Ugh…)**. Gerard was so fucking hot **(I feel really bad for this guy having such a psychotic fan.)**! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ...And den, I heard some crrying **(Believe me when I say, it's me…)**. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner **(XD Aww did Snap give him a time out?)**.


	21. Chapter 21

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk **(Bitch please!) **itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok **(You're the WRITER!)** koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help **(I love how she goes from calling Raven a bitch to thanking her for helping.)**. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed **(*JEALOUS FACE*)**!

Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay **(Oh yea, he's crying. Of course he's not okay! MEDIOCRE DUNCE!)**?" I asked in a gothic voice **(A gothic voice? WOW! There's like, no such thing.)**.

"No I'm not u fuking bitch **(My thoughts exactly.)**!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way **(My best friend Meg is over, the one I'm writing the Kingdom Hearts story with btw, and we both just tried running in a suicidal way. It went kinda like this. *slow mo run* *long, deep, dragged out voices* "NOOOOOOOOO—" *trips over each other and she landed on top of me*…epic fail.)**. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide **(Yet she stands there crying instead of stopping him…and WAIT didn't he already?)**.

"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you **(She's such a gem.)**!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood **(*rolls eyes* Seriously, this guy is gonna like lose all his blood 'Cuz he won't stop CRYING!) **came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz **(NOT THE TIME EBONY!)**. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!) **(Homophone…*facepalm*)**

And then... we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke **(An invincibility coke; coke that is undefeated.)**. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris **(Whoa, I KNOW she did NOT mix up Filch and Mrs. Norris .)** there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly **(She DID mix them up DX)**.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris. **(No one important!)**

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich **(Well that's not very nice.)**!" Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT **(The ghost of Christmas Past.)**!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak **(How the hell did he know there was a cloak? And if he DID know then well DUH! Of COURSE someone would have been under it!)**!" he asked. Filth nodded **(In Ebony's world, cats can nod!)**. And then...Vampir frenched me **(Good timing bro.)**! He did it jus as... Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1 **(Oh snap, crackle, pop!)**

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school **(Draco, don't kill yourself! I haven't even saved you yet!)**.

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?" **(…He's just DANDY!)**

"I guess though." Draco weeped **(He says as he sobs.)**. We went back to our coffins frenching each other **(Nothing like a good snog when you're crying, eh?)**. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together **(I have no comments on this…)**. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1 **(By Fug, I assume you mean Fudge. And by Mystery of Magic I assume you mean Minister of Magic…..WHICH IS WHAT FUDGE IS SO EITHER WAY YOU'RE AN IDIOT!)**


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: R&R3 **

AN: stfu **(MAKE ME!)**! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris **(No. It. Isn't.)** itz raven's folt ok **(Sure, blame the bird. Their easy targets.)**!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1 **(Ok then…)**

All day everyone talked about the Misery **(Is this her trying to be gothic by changing it to "Misery" or is this one of her damn typo's?) **of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas **(Lacey leather? OW)**. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where... B'loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow! **(Creeeeeeeeepers. Were they just like staring at your coffin?)**

I opened my crimson eyes **(How did you know they were there before you opened your eyes?)**. Willow was wearing **(Outfit descriptions...wake me up when she's done. *promptly goes to sleep*.)** a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way **(*Talks in sleep* He does not look like Gerard Way.)**, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) **(*jolts awake* Jenny? You mean Ginny? Aw, HELL no!) **was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle **(O.o When did THEY get there?)**. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire **(Crabbe and Goyle but—*gasps* She…mixed them up with Fred and George…..*faints*)**. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too **(You are psycho. THIS IS ARTHUR WEASLEY SHE'S TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE! He doesn't even know the function of a rubber duck!)**. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism **(Stanism? Oi! Stan, you got your own religion!...Psh just kidding. I don't even KNOW a Stan xD.)**.

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?" **(YOU REPLACED FRED AND GEORGE WITH CRABBE AND GOYLE! THEY ARE THERE TO KILL YOU!)**

"Enoby something is really fucked up **(EBONY'S FACE!).**" Draco said.

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily **(She is NOT a morning person . . . or an afternoon person . . . or a night person.)** .

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful **(He must be blind.)**." Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling **(I love how she's only happy when someone boosts her ego.)**. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective **(O.O)**."

"I will I will." he said. **(Please son't)**

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation **(Back to the white foundation…)**. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney **(Britney…stereotype prep name heh heh.)** from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her **(Ooh she's a prep, that automatically makes her a bad person!)**. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork **(Don't call him that bitch!)**. Cornelia Fudged **(Fudged…heh heh heh)** was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge **(XD RUMBRIDGE?) **was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE **(No, it's true! Tara replaced Fred and George with Crabbe and Goyle!)**!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED **(I'll say!)**!"

"THE BARK LORD **(Bark lord…the evil tree!) **IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS** (YAY!)**!" yelled Cornelia **(Cornelia? Are you calling Fudge a girl? Well he was a pussy in OotP so I agree.) **Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER **( I know he let EBONY into the school!)**!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS **(I AM GOING TO DIE XD)**! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS **(We can only hope…so Dumbledore, do NOT retire! Let him kill the students! Or at least Ebony!)**!"

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily **(T-T Way to give in.)**. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school **(Yea, think of the paperwork involved!)**. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort **(Hermione? Pansy? Ginny, Ron's sister? ME?) **and she is in the school. And her name is...Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **(Using her full name ruins the dramatic moment. You just like drag it out longer than it needs to be. Can I make a simple suggestion my old friend? Just tone it down. What's wrong with "Ebony Way"?)**."

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other...I gasped **(Yeaa if my life was being held in the hands of HER I'd be scared.)**.


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and added this to their favorites and subscriptions :D I'm glad I can make u people laugh when reading about Ebony's terrifying life. I love you all and no matter how hard this is, I shan't give up on you!...No matter how much I really…really…want to… *eye twitch*….anyway…to Hell's Hogwarts!**

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz **(Uh 9999 of those reviews are flames.)**!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha **(Like omg let's go to Justice!)**!

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily **(Heh Dumbledore must have tried to convert them to being goths.)**. Then Dumbledum **(Dumbledum xD he sounds like a character on a kids show.)** and Rumbridge sawed u **(SHE CUT YOU IN HALF WITH A SAW? Yesss!)**

"MR. WAY **(See, even Rumbridge knows you're a dude.)** WHAT THE BEEP **(What the beep? XD)** ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her **(Blared o.O?)**.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!" **(Nice cover Dumbledum.)**

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo **(Wait, what? Ugh.)**. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup **(Okay 1, EW! And 2, where did it come from? You're in Dumbledum's office!)**. Then I herd someone shooting angrily **(*sigh*)**. I looked behind me it was...Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother **(What did you do this time Ebony?)**.

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked. **(Okay lemme ask you something, if you hate preps so damn much then why the hell do you talk like one?)**

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1" **(Why shit next to her when you can shit ON her?)**

"No I do!" shouted. **(Shouted Vampire I assume?)**

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco **(*raises hand* Um well they almost screwed in front of one of my Hufflepuff peeps, so yea.)**.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you **(Ebony loves anyone who's a "goff" so put the claws away chica's and MOVE ON!) **!" shouted Vampire. And then... he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv **(Well you're the one who has made this story like that! Of course at first glance I'm gonna think it was in "That way". God damn!)**) They started to fight and beat up each other **(*Gets popcorn and juice box* CHICK FIGHT! CHICK FIGHT!)**.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden... a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick **(Aww you broke up the fight Dx! That's it! This writer is officially on protest! *turns away angrily*)**. He had no nose **(*cough* You mentioned this. *cough*)** and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart **(Well DUH.)**. Britney that fucking prep started to cry **(Of course she cry's cuz you know, she's a prep.)**. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting...I shopped eating **(Okay, protest over! You were eating the whole time this was going on? This isn't a movie where you sit there eagerly eating your little popcorn and sipping your juicey box as you await the climax of the movie…Oh wait, I did xD)**...Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent...Volzemort! **(And here I thought it was gonna be PINKY PIE FROM MY LITTLE PONIES!)**

"Eboby...Ebony..." Darth Valer **(Darth Valer? Does she mean Darth Vador? THAT IS SO COOL!) **sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission **(What is it with all the bad guys speaking with the whole Shakespeary talk. That wasn't in the evil genius handbook I got…Oh wait it must still be Voldy T-T Damn it.)**. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!" **(It's like Nike's slogan; JUST DO IT!)**

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged. **(Yea don't! That way you can kill them all!)**

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling **(That's my special boy! :D)**.

I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic **(How would you know if they looked cool and gothic? YOU CAN'T SEE IT!)**. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way **(No I thought he was cutting himself in a HAPPY way.)**.

"No!" I screamed sexily **(I wish I could scream sexily. There is so many things that Ebony can do it's almost impossible. Oh wait, IT IS!)**. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice **(Eh she'll be fine. Tell her to walk it off.)**.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensitive **(Right, just that you all are gonna die.)**.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily **(o.o Whoa there.)**. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2 **(I swear she's being paid to advertise this stuff. "What if I'm getting possessed like in-*looks into camera and grins*-Da Ring 2!)**!"

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister **(O.o Who?)** about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich **(Now me and my friend Meg call each other bitch and other lovely affectionate terms just to mock Ebony. Quite hilarious.)**." I said sadly and den we went.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: Ahh thanks for the reviews people:) Keep em coming!**

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help! **(Is she done whining about us yet?)**

Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions **(Ohh I get it! Divination, Trewlaney. *Looks extremely pleased with self* I got's it now!)** .

"Konnichiwa **(More Japanese talk…what's weird is that she spelled it right .) **everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister **(Sinistra….it's Sinistra….) **in Japanese. She smelled **(Wait, she SMELLED YOU? Is she a fucking dog?)** at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever **(Yea you would like her for smelling you, WOULDN'T YOU!)**. She had long dead black hair **(Dead? Well a good trim and some conditioner will fix that right up.) **with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire **(Another half vampire…)**. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b'loody mry get along grate **(I don't care if her and goff Hermione are bffl's because they both speak Japanese.)**) She's really young for a teacher **(Well I guess 40s is young compared to the other teachers at Hogwarts o.O)**. 2day she was wearing **(Oh hell here we go…)**a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong **(It's Emily the Strange, honeybear.)**. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it **(*tosses bucket of holy water at her* MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU BITCH!)**.

"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik **(When I wear black nail polish I get strange looks. *nods importantly*)**?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger **(Okay if I did that in front of my teachers, half of them would freak at me and the other half would just be like in a monotone voice, "Don't do that".)**. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho about now?" she asked. **(RIGHT NOW! In front of EVERYBODY!)**

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1 **(I wish my teachers dismissed us like that. I wouldn't mind going to school just to hear that from my teachers xD)**." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps **(*snort* That's right be mean to the preps. RACIST!)**. "Please do exorcize (geddit **(Ha…ha…ha.)**) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die **(Then do the honorable thing and die for him :D Who's with me on that? Eh, EH?)**.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in **(I'm surprised she didn't give it to you to smell it.)**. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" she asked. **(I see….I see….I SEE—)**

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram." **(—Well I was going to say a black crystal ball but whatever floats your goffic boat.)**

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes **(Whoa, Congress gave him shoes? Wait a second, there IS no Congress in the wizard world o.o THIS IS WRONG!)**.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt **(Such a lovely woman.)**." said Proffesor Sinister.

"Bye bitch." I said waving. **(Such a lovely girl.)**

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited **(Exhibited? O.o)**.


	25. Chapter 25

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up **(I seriously doubt your boyfriend will be able to find us.)**!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer **(*dies of laughter* FINE I'll tell my best friend Thumper to plant a bomb at your place. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?)**!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1

I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again **(God I hope not T-T)**. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.

"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say **(She called Ebony a cunt. I like that teacher x3)**." whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice **(Wow she can scream in a sexy voice AND grumble in a sexy voice. Lucky, LYING, bitch.)**. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it **(Wait, how can you spike alcohol?)**, and gave it to me to spork **(Spork? o.O does he mean Snort? Oww!)**. He started to fly the car into a tree **(*points and laughs* YES!)**. We went to the top of it **(Damn it Dx)**. Draco put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fervently **(….I'm going to make myself a cup of hot tea.)**. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool **(*comes back* Into your TOOL? What the fuck…) **sexily.

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgasm **(Who screams OMFG while having an orgasm? I certainly wouldn't. But I still have my V-card so who knows, eh?)**. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly... I fell asleep **(Thank you Ebony. This just made me laugh so hard I knocked over my half empty cup of tea DX)**. I started having a dream. In it a black guy **(Kingsley?) **was shooting two goffik men with long black hair. **(*snicker* Long black hair?)**

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car **(He RAN in a red car? What does he have? A Flintstones car?)**.

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face **(Guess she still won't see a docter.)**. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile **(Not the time Ebony!)**. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where... Lucian and Serious **(:O you got rid of Lucius's long blonde hair? BOO YOU WHORE!)**!111


	26. Chapter 26

**AN: *cringe* Uhh hi everyone. So um yea I know it's been awhile…but in my defense I—Oh who am I kidding? Feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me *hangs head* But it might interest u that I did some "Tara" research. I found out she apparently has dyslexia? Not sure if its true. Oh and back when she first posted this story, someone hacked into her account and posted the last 4 chapters or something but she got control of her account again, deleted it, and posted her original crap -_- Ok read on my loves! **

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK **(Doesn't she ever get tired of telling us to stop flaming when we obviously won't?)**!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep **(Eh I'm good.)**! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok **(About the black guy? He was pretty chill! He was trying to kill off the people in Tara world.)**!11

A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree **(Wait was he standing below? 'Cuz their like at the top of the tree...)**. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt **(I'll let you know when I care.)**.

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob **(Okay people brace yourselves. Rant time. 1, How can you say something flirtily as you're bawling like a baby? 2, How is Vampire up in the tree? 3, Why would you try and be flirty in front of you're boyfriend. And lastly, YOU AND DRACO ARE NAKED RIGHT NOW!)**. Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood **(…You've BEEN crying a blood waterfall!)** and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily **(Aw damn everyone, he's getting a little sassy o.o!)**. He4 started to cry sadly **(And he lost the sassiness -_-)**. "What fucking dick did that **(*shrugs* I dunno)**!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor **(*smiling creepily while holding a knife and speaks in calm, serene voice* Dumbledore can't save you now.)**."

We ran out of the tree **(How do you run out of a tree when YOU ARE ON TOP! GAH! *slams head into keyboard* fhofjw0 gfj)** and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

"Sire **(Sire? Is he, like a king now?) **are dads have been shot **(Sirius isn't Harry's dad!)**!" Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem."

Dubleodre started to cockle **(:O cockle…that word is almost as cool as fjucking and snarkle!)**. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional **(….)**?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker **(Daaaamn Vampire is one bad ass chick!)**." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter **(So much I could say…so much…)**). "U know very well that I'm not decisional **(Huh o_O)**. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pronto **(XD Am I the only one who finds Vampires bossiness and chick talk hilarious?)**!"

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice **(Aw c'mon Dumbles. He's not THAT scary!)**. "Were are they?"

I fought about it **(Did you sit there punching yourself saying, "THINK MAN THINK!")**. Then all of a sudden... "Longdon **(Longdon…hehe I wanna go to Longdon.)**." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff **(*Sigh*)**. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them **(*sighs louder*)**. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found **(*yawns*)**. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room **(*rolls eyes*)**. We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed **(AHHH! DX I wasn't ready for that!)**. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers...and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1 **(Woo….hoo.)**


	27. Chapter 27

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me **(This is almost as annoying as her outfit descriptions .)**!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez** (Why you gotta be so mean T-T!)**!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl **(Raven we hate you.) **soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital **(Hahaha LOL that's so funny! No really, it is.) **rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly **(Tissues? *chucks tissue boxes and knocks out Ebony.)**- I had saved them **(*yawn*)**. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me **(:D maybe they'll all crush her!)**. The nurse started to give them medicine **(*snicker* What kind xD?)**.

"Cum on Enoby." said Proffesor Sinatra **(Oh THIS chick again.)**. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it **(…..Mmm vampire blood. Yummy. *makes slurping noise*.)** and fuking black platinum boots **(They aren't just black platinum boots. Their FUCKING black platinum boots.)**. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition **(Prediction I guess o.O?)**."

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily **(Woof.)** and went into a dark room. I had changed **(Say what now o.o?)** Profesor Sinister took out some black cards **(And started playing poker!)**. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said... "Tara, I see drak times are near **(Yea, there's still quite a bit of chapters left Dx)**." She said badly. She peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time **(To keep Ebony's parents from ever meeting :D?)**." She took out a Time-Toner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemint **(Hehehe…Voldemint, the toothpaste.) **was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth broken **(He has NO heart and he never has!)**. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love **(He is incapable of loving!)**?" I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him **(*is dead*)**. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it **(Maybe Buckbeak will run her over before then…)**."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin **(Whatever that is…)**. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire** (She has to fuck Voldemort, that's what.)**.

"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond **(A party? I LOVE parties! Drinks all around :D!)**. Everyone was proud of me **(Except me. And pretty much all my peeps reading this. Am I right?)** butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik **(-_-)**wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him **(Who's him?)**. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out **(*stomach growls* Gee THANKS Ebony.)**. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises **(…She doesn't deserve to live.)**.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether **(No…no….no)**.


	28. Chapter 28

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok **(Say what now?)**!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL **(Eh they kicked me out.)**!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily **(Who o.O?)** 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi **(Is Raven dating a fruit now? I knew Raven was a little messed up, I mean hell look at who her friend's are.)**!1111111

We went in2 a blak room **(I thought they went outside o.o)**. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them **(Manson scares me…)**. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box **(Don't care.)**. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem **(…Ew.)**. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath **(I don't need that mental image in my head Dx)**.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly **(Her whole "da" thing is soooo irritating .)**. So did Drako and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it. **(Every time a hand is mentioned, she always has to point out their nail polish.)**

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is...I have to seduce Volxemort **(Way to tell your boyfriend and you're friend with benefits.)**. Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him **(-_-)**.

"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you **(YES SHE IS! No, wait, DUMP HER!)**?"

"Of coarse not **(Stay out of this Ebony!)**!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked **(SHE'S LYING!)**.

"Sure." I said **(Ugh.)**.

We frenched sexily **(Damn it Dx)**. Vampire looked at us longingly **(Freak *points and laughs*)**.

Then... I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants **(Noo!)**. He was hung lik a stallone **(I just died…)**. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it **(But you can't do that! *looks around uncertainly* Can you?)**. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way **(I wonder how far I could kick her right now?)**. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4) **(...I'm done with this….I—I can't handle this anymore Dx she's broken me!)**.

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif **(*In corner*)**.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock **(:O YOU KIDNAPPED SPOCK?)** in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"I love you Eboby **(Who in their right minds would—I mean—And she—GAH)**. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm **(…yummy.)**. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly...

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was...Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111 **(Save us DX!)**


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: I am soo sorry Dx don't hurt me. As a sorry gift I'll post THREE chapters.**

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u **(THAT'S IT! FUCK YOU TARA, FUCK. YOU.)**!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

"Oh my satan!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily **(*Gets popcorn and hands out 3-D glasses to everyone reading this right now.)**.

"CUM NOW **(They already did XD)**!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel **(Oooh caramel! NOM NOM)** and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire shooted angrily. **(Put the gun down! It's just caramel!)**

"Yeah buster **(…Buster…*shakes head sadly*)**what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera **(Aww it's a camera. Fighting over a caramel is a much, much better plot twist.)** ?" Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's. So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop **(The many transformations of Snape. Snape-Snap-Snop-Snope-Snoop Dog ).** laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle **(Yea you tell them Professor McBadass!)**. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it **(O.o Okay now I'm slightly scared.)**. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol **(Despite it being a HORRIBLE joke, tis true.) **tom felnot rulez 4 lif **(TRUE DAT!) **but nut as muxh as gerard **(…Ebony, we were connecting there for a moment…but you ruined it Dx) **ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111). **(Yea, yea he definitely wants YOU.)**

I started to cry tearz of blood** (-_-)** (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok **(Yes because Raven's word is law. I mean, she let you post THIS!) **so fok u!1). Vampire took out a black honkerchief **(Honkerchief….Heh heh heh xD)** and started to wipe my red eyes **(Gag me with a shovel.)**.

And then... he and Snoop both took out guns using magic **(Oooh yea guys! Let's use our magic to take the guns out when we can use our hands to get them, even better instead of using magic to fight let's use muggle weapons!)**. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand **(Wow she did something right. Good on ya!)**.

"Crosio!" I shouted **(I assume she meant crucio…o.o *gulp*)**. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets **(Why does it matter? He's screaming in pain so he can't fight back anyway.)**. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up **(o.o)**. She took out a box of tools **(TORTURE SUPPLIES :D)**. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly **(And were back to Snap…)**. Vampire started to cry **(Aww tissue? *chucks box at his head*)**.

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake **(And now he is Snake…)**."

Snape **(Yay! She got his name right!) **laughed again. And then...he took out some whips **(Oh dear God no…no…I can see where this is going…)**!1!1111


	30. Chapter 30

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok **(Oh I am quite sure we ALL know where this is going.) **!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass **(I'd rather not. I'd probably drop dead.))**!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous **(Dongerous…L.O.L) **but datz da mysteries opinin **(Mysteries can't have an opinion! That defeats the whole purpose!) **koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

"No!11" we screamed sadly **(Oh wah wah.)**. Snap stated loafing meanly** (What did that poor loaf of bread do to you?)**. He took out a kamera anvilly **(MY ANVIL :D)**. Then... he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle **(O_o I'm slightly scared. Not gonna lie.)**.

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily **(…tap dancing.)**. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants **(*screams* I'VE GONE BLIND Dx)**. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark **(XD Dork mark. My version of a dork mark is drawing the Deathly Hallows sign on my hand, drawing the Triforce symbal from Zelda on my other hand, and then drawing the Ring from LotR.) **on his you-know-wut!11! **(So lemme get this straight…his dark mark was is on his penis? *proceeds to die of laughter*)**

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me **(No! Don't let her have a sharp pointy object who knows what will happen?)**.

"U must stab Vrompire." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1" **(Or you can stab them all and then stab yourself :D)**

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil **(EVIL? I KNEW IT!) **goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram **(How can a person look like a pentagram . I'm so fjucking confused…) **(lol geddit koz im a Satanist **(Ha…haha.)**) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard **(Not the time Ebony!)**. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair **(So basically their both sexy so you don't want to kill either of them.)**. I thought of da time when we screwed **(Oh lets reminisce to decide who to kill. More importantly, lets reminisce about when you guys fucked.)**and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came **(-_- oh yea good times.) **and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive .

Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort **(You're a God now? Good on ya mate!)**. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire **(I think I'm gonna be sick Dx)**.0 Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape **(…Destruct? Or distract?)**.

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted. **(Dumbledork doesn't like you remember?)**

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out **(They won't give a damn either.)**!11" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand. **(O.o)**

"You ridiculus dondderhed **(…Dondderhed? Heh heh heh.)**!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him **(MY MIND HAS BEEN RUINED!)**...

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound **(You have no idea how hard I'm laughing. The thought of Ebony casting a torture curse and taking a shit…oh my lord xD)**. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious **(…Now isn't the time to be sexting, Ebony)**. I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came **(O-o What…what…I'm so confuzzled!)**.

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing **(YOUR LYING!)**." he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap **(Dueces Snap!)**. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go." **(Yes to St. Mungo's.)**


	31. Chapter 31

**AN: So I forgot to ask! Has anyone gotten a Pottermore account yet? I have an it's true. *strikes heroic pose* I am definitely a Hufflepuff!**

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs **(You mean quiff? HEY LEAVE EDWARD OUT OF THIS! He can't help that he got turned into a sparkling vampire!)**!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su **I don't even think Tara knows what a Mary Sue is…)**ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u **(Fuck you.)**!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111 **(I say we all go kill Raven and Tara in their sleep.)**

"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111 **(Erm, okay.)**)." Serious said 2 Snape.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed. **(The education system has really gone downhill.)**

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum **(…Whoa…I-I can't believe this. My mind is BLOWN…how can Voldemort have a hair product if he has no hair?) **out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it **(So…Friking…Confuzzled.)**. He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap **(Poor Snap. Crackle and Pop will surely miss you.)** . Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes **(He sometimes dresses like a woman and dances to Singing In the Rain!)**. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort **(Mehh but I'm TIRED. Can't we just be death eaters?)**. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store **(But…Your going to…And…But now…ugh.)**.

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick. **(Sorry everyone. The outfit description started and just fell fast asleep.)**

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. **(No she's a fugly slut.)**

"Fangs." I said. **(Go die.)**

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim **(Tim does not want you in him.)**." said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz **(…Okay?)**." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill **(Leave. Resident Evil. Out. Of. This.)**. Then she gave me a black time-tuner **(Of COURSE it's black.)**. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me **(What does a Pensive have—Oh screw it.)**. Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then... I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive **(I would have jumped normally…just saying…)**.

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz **(Oh hell here we go again.)** I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was...Tom Bombodil **(Tom BOMBODIL? As in Tom BOMBODIL from Lord of the Rings?...SHIT JUST GOT FREAKING REAL! I AM GOING TO KILL HER IN HER SLEEP AND THEN HAVE A UNICORN EAT HER THEN SHIT HER OUT!)**!1111


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: So I made a whoops. THIS is chapter 32. The one I recently posted was 33. Sorry! *hangs head in shame***

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak **(You seem to have a lot of those.)**!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself **(No thanks.)**!11111 U SUK!111111

"Hi." I said flirtily **(*cough* Whore *cough*)**. "Im Enoby Way da new student **(Cuz that's believable for HOGWARTS.)**." I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

"Da name's Tom **(Hi Tom! *waves* Do you know Tim? I got a distress call from him.)**." he said. "But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam **(Of course it is…)**"

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him **(Follows the guy name Satan who is gonna be the worlds most horrible murderer…sounds legit.)**. "Hey Satan...do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day **(…This is like the 40s. They don't exsist yet!)**?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den **(Neither does Green Day!)**) I asked.

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know **(*headdesk*)**?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s **(Even if this was in the 80s and not the 40s, it doesn't matter if it SOUNDS it!)**)

"omg me too!" I replied happily **(Were dealing with idiots here.)**.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered **(*whispers* I like whispering too.)**.

"hogsment?" I asked. **(Oh wow, something that was purposely spelled wrong for some stupid plot point that makes no sense.)**

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000 **(What'd I tell you. 2000! REALLY? GAH!)**." he told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

▒topic!" I finshed, happy again **(*facepalm* NOT. INVENTED. YET.)**.

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo **(O_o Hot whaaat?)**." He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 **(Oh good God why?) **dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned **(…Why is he moaning .)**.

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me **(Glad it's making sense for SOMEONE.)**. "so is dumblydor your princepill **(Yea he's the most royal pill out there. The prince pill.)**?" I shouted.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED. **(*falls out of a chair* GEEZ! HE IS RIGHT THERE!)**

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik **(Hahaha…ha. -.-)**) he asked.

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili **(She's such a bitch. Heh heh see what I did THERE? Female dog!)**.

Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily **(Shredding? Is he like tearing a piece of paper up angrily?)**. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS **(*loudly* I'M TALKING! Whatchu gonna do about it fool?)**!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters **(*throws hands up in air* I give up.)**. "STUPID GOFFS!"

satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps **(No you guys are just annoying as fuck.)**."

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord **(Yea he hates trees. On arbor day he crashes the parties and burns down the trees instead of planting them.)**."

"wtf?" he asked angrily. **(*snicker* I thought he knew everything about the future.)**

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly. **(*rolls eyes*)**

then suddenlyn... the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly **(*head cocked* O.o)**."

"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell **(OMG! You have no idea how hard that made me laugh xD like seriously I thought I was gonna piss myself.)**.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom **(…Aw no more Tom? What a disappointment…)**. dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u **(And you were shredding paper.)**." I said.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik **(I'm gonna kill something.)**.

sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing **(Ruining my excellent life!)**?"

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that **(Glad to know she's on top of everything.)**."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second **(That doesn't stop you from greeting her with, "Hey bitch" and what not.)**. but shes a goff so its ok **(Yes that makes it alright.)**.

professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum **(The hair care product from Voldy, or Veritaserum the truth potion o.o)**." she started to cry black tears of depression. dumblydum didn't know about them.

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear **(Oh good. Someone with a somewhat normal reaction.)**.

"fuck off!" we both said **(That's nice.)** and dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears **(How can the tears be LIMPID if they're bloody!) ** . "omfg enoby...I think im addicted to Voldemortserum **(…Your addicted to hair/truth potion…)**."

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ **(Yes because nothing causes charity events like addictions to potions that isn't alcoholic.) **2O GO 2 HELL!1111112


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: So I posted this as chapter 32 when its 33 by accident so go back and read 32 lol. Sorry for the mix up!**

AN: I sed shut up **(It's gotten comforting to be greeted in the same way every chapter, don't ya think? xP) **itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story **(Oh sure blame US.)** den ur a prep **(Yep, you caught me.)** so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz **(….Promise?)** nd diz tim I men it **(I don't believe you DX)**!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1 **(Raven must be insane to want your help hon.)**

"Oh my fuking god!1 **(What NOW?)**" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?" **(Anime won't save her now!)**

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy **(…Is Ebony an egg now . I must have missed a MAJOR plot point. I always thought she was a crack head. Heh geddit? CRACK head—Oh forget it.)**, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help **(Tim doesn't want you in him, Tom doesn't want to help you. Lets just make it clear that all guys that have names that start with "T" don't want you!)**?"

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas. **(Panamas is how my mom's two year old goddaughter pronounces pajamas….)**

"Hey Sexxy." I said. **(I know it. I WORK OUT! XD couldn't resist.)**

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking. **(If she compares him to Gerard Way one more time I will take the plug for my computers charger and use her ass hole as an outlet!)**

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm **(I'm surprised she didn't say that they "sexily went into the black dorm…that is black.")**.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously. **(Jealousy is not a good thing, *gazing longingly at Draco and practicing voodoo on a doll of Ebony.)**

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked. **(…She…borked? O_o)**

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily. **(Please no.)**

"I hop not 2 far!111" **(I bet I can hop farther then you!)** I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him **(Yea if I started shooting at an innocent dude I'd feel bad too…then again you're his girlfriend so maybe he isn't innocent…)**. I said sorry. We frenched **(…Yay more pointless frenching!)**.

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled. **(WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?)**

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly **(He…giggled…mistressly O.O?)**. He opened a door...Snap nd Lumpkin **(Lumpkin…heh heh heh.)** werz there!11 Serious waz pokering **(Ooh I suck at poker!)** dem by staging dem wif a blak nife. **(Oh…poking…)**

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged **(Quite whining!)** as Serious started 2 suk his blood **(…Yummy.)**. I laffed statistically **(o.o She scares me…a lot.)**. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued **(In a, I-Never-Will-Be-Happy-Again kind of way…)**. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok **(Sure they do.) **haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz **(…I'm gonna assume she means Shark Attack 3?)**). We took sum of Snipe's blod **(EW.)**den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity **(Cloves of garlic? Oh the irony xD. Actually I think she means gloves.)** so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie **(Oh nice. Ooh my gloves are dirty so I'm gonna change my entire outfit to look like a slut!) **kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld.** (I've only seen the first one once so I don't remember…)** (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz **(If were lucky she'll break both her ankles…then get attacked and killed…by a crow.)**. Darko put on ▒desolition liverz' by MCR. Den...we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez **(God you guys are like rabbits!)**. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge **(Ugh I cannot stand when writers make CONSTANT comparisons to movies and what not.)**. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy **(…That's not what an orgy is sweetheart. Stick to calling it an orgasm.)**.

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation. **(*is covering eyes*)**

"I luv u TaEbory **(Heh wrong name dumbass.)**." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol. **(…Lol!)**


	34. Chapter 34

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story **(*Snape voice* Obviously.)**!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs **(…Gee how'd ya know?) **so FUK U **(Her vocabulary of insults is so limited.)**!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help **(Screw you Raven.)**!1

I wook up in da coffin de next day **(Surprise, surprise.)**. Draco waz gone** (Good, stay away from MY Draco.)**. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end **(Ugh wake me up when the outfit descriptions are OVERR.)**. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth** (*jolts awake*…You have GOT to be kidding.)**. I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly... Sorious cocked **(O.o Awkward spelling mistake…)**on da door. I hopened it.

"Hi Ibony** (Hm…I like Ibony better than Ebony XD)**." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office **(Oh the truth potion addict!)**."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice **(Why you so depressed .?)**. I had wanted to fuk Draco **(-_- Oh.)** or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence **(Leave Evanescence out of this Dx!)**. I came anyway.

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily **(WHORE!)**.

"I fucking tortured them **(o.o Note to self everyone; Don't get on Tara's Serious Black's bad side!)**." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."

I laughed evilly **(Bitch please, you can't beat my evil laugh. So don't even you poser.)**.

"Where r Draco and Vampira **(Vampira? Is Harry/Vampire a chick now…?)**?" I muttered.

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily **(Are they fucking while having this conversation 'Cuz honestly that would NOT surprise me at all.)**. "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas **(I love that movie x3)**."

We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there **(No duh.)**. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic **(Wha—what pic O_O)**

She wuz drinking some Volximortserum. **(Truth addict *shakes head*)**

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner **(At least she's leaving Tim alone.)**.

"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now **(Damn it. Tom, er "Satan" is as annoying as the rest of them.)**. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited **(It's called, WILL POWER!)**." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

And then...I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around...I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula **(You are hardcore.)**. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan **(You mean your mom? Sorry…I had to throw in a "Your Mom" joke somewhere in this…carry on.)**. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes **(I think I know that guy! He sold me oregano instead of weed! Classic prank…and I fell for it.)**. He looked just like Charlyn Manson **(I was kidding, please don't send me to jail for illegal drug dealings Dx)**. I noticed...he was drinking a portent **(…What the HELL is a portent? How do you mix up potion and portent. OH FORGET IT .)**.

"Whose he!11" I asked.** (He. Is. Your. FATHER!)**

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn **(*snorts* Slutborn? I be he's Ebony's father…just saying.)**." Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher **(Hey look everyone, Tara got ONE fact right! Slughorn WAS the potions teacher when Tommy was a kid. Sure she spelled it wrong…completely wrong…but were making progress!)**...Ebony?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight **(They. Don't. EXSIST YET!)**? And they r showing The Exercise **(XD The Exercise? I can so see those two going to a movie where a perky woman is like, "All right gang! Let's jazzercise!) **at da movies b4 dat."

"Yah?"

"Well...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me **(…Is this supposed to be a suspenseful cliffhanger or what…?)**?


	35. Chapter 35

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea **(Suzi we hate you too.)**!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl **(Let's start a hate club for Tara, Raven, and this Suzi chick!)**!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun **(That's why there's nine more chapters . )**so FUK U **(Erm, okay?)**!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius **(*speaks in a dark whisper* You monster!)**!1 fangz.

I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan **(Finking is what toddlers say when they can't pronounce thinking. Just saying.)**. Suddenly I gasped...Draco wuz there **(HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO UNEXPECTED! MAJOR PLOT TWIST RIGHT THERE THAT CAUSES ME TO GASP!)**!111

I grasped **(I hate how often she gasps.)**. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner **(I'm pretty sure he's worn this same outfit before. Or at least an outfit like it. So Ebony dear, GET OVER IT!)**.

"Draco what da fuk r u dong **(Why is she freaking out like that? GAH!)**!111111" I gosped **(GASP AGAIN BITCH! I DARE YOU!)**.

"Huh?" he asked **(O_o)**. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Draco. It was Lucan** (Lucan? I guess she means Lucius.)**!1 He stil had two arms **(Wait, what .?)**.

"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. "Im Ebony the new student lol **(LOL that's so damn funny!)** we shook handz **(I hate when she puts actions into the dialogue -_-)**."

"Yah Satan told me abot you **(Satan's annoying as hell. Heh heh, geddit? Annoying as hell? Sorry I had to throw that bad joke in there…)**." Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting **(*bangs head against the wall* I shouldn't be surprised but guess what, she still continues to AMAZE me with how stupid and horrible she is.)**. It wuz Serious, Vampire's dad and...Snap **(AW DAMN! NO FJUCKING WAY!)**! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts **(Oh yea. The band that WASN'T INVENTED YET!)**. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys **(I love how in Tara world it's called goth band and not metal band or screamo.)**." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason **(Who also was not around then! For gods sake, Tom Riddle wasn't even in school with any of those guys!) **show as back-up.

"ORLY **(Yes, RLY.)**." I ESKED.

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX **(That's not a band name. That is like a username for something or an email name.)**. I play teh gutter. Spartacus **(Who the hell is Spartacus?)** plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Snap plays the boss **(Yea, I bet Snape DOES play instruments like a boss.)**. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring **(Guys, bad news. I might be brain dead before I finish this.)**."

"Hey bastards **(Always the charmer.)**." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again **(I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE GASPED AGAIN! I clearly warned her not to and what does she do? SHE DOES IT!)**. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists **(Is that the only way anyone commits suicide here? And I simply ADORE how even after that, they all keep cutting.)**."

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad **(Okay another rant coming your way people! Now I may cuss a lot, but I cannot STAND how she cusses every…other…word. It irritates me! No matter what happens, she has to toss in something vile.)**!1" I gasped **(*throws laptop across the room*)(Just kidding. I wouldn't do that to *insert Gollum voice here* my precioussss)**.

"Its okay but we need a new led snigger **(Well I'm sure if you try out different laughs it'll come to you eventually.)**." Samaro said.

"Wel...I said Im in a bnad myself." **(Oh God, please no Dx)**

"Rilly **(Really, really.)**?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik **(The funny thing is that out of all the characters, he's the most gothic. Not that he IS goth but you know what I mean.)**!111

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666 **(Damn devil number -.- I'm not a big Christian but I still hate Satanism and such.)**. Do u wanna hr me sing **(No thanks. I already heard ducks quacking today so I'm good.)**?"

Yeah said everyone **(What? Dx. We could vote on it!)**. So the guys tok out der guitarz **(C'mon guys, rethink this!)**. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah **(Okay people, you have to admit…even MY corny jokes are better than hers! Please say I'm right or I'll be so ashamed of myself…)**!11) Gurn Day **(Gurn Day? That's supposedly her favorite band but she can't spell it right. Then again the only word she always spells right is "Goth".)**.

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily **(I hate how everything she does is sexy.)** (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped **(. YOUR REALLY PUSHING MY BUTTONS PEOPLE!)**.

"Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz **(NO! OH PLEASE NO! DON'T PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS! Think of the children!)**!1" begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.

"Um...ok **(*facepalm*)**." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight **(NO!)**?"

"Yah." they said **(GOD DAMN IT!)**.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit** (Why! Your wardrobe is never ending!)**. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time **(*snorts* Already trying to ditch?)**. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz...Morty Mcfli **(WHAT THE HELL! Isn't he from Back to the Future? SHE JUST WON'T STOP CROSSING LINES!)**!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

"What da hell r u dong here **(Yea my question exactly!)**!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby **(Now even Morty is ganging up on Tim! The poor guy!)**." he said siriusly **(She always mixes up Sirius with serious.)**Den...he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and...sudenly I wuz forward in tim **(Let us all salute Tim, the brave, brave soul.)**!111


	36. Chapter 36

**AN: Thank you for the lovely reviews3 keep em coming!**

AN: I sed stop flaming ok **(But it's fun!)**!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz** (Yup, we read bad fanfiction from the nursing home 'cause we have no lives.)**!111 ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP **(If this person is a "prep" in Tara's eyes, that means she/he's chill with us!)**!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help **(Raven sucks at "helping". Just saying. If she was a real friend, she'd have put Tara down at the vets a long time ago.)**!111 hav fun in englond gurl **(She's in England AGAIN?)**!11111

I loked around in a depresed way **(How do you look around in a "depressed way"?)**. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister** (Meh)**. B"lody Mary, Socrates **(Who O_o)** and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.

"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip **(Snap has been promoted from a piece of toasted rice into a pair of scissors. Snip, snip.)** nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik **(Yea me either -_-)**!111111"

"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Trevolry said **(I would give anything to be able to greet Tara like that . . .)** in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom.

Hi fuker." I said. "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet **(Ooh what's a gottik cornet? I want one!) **and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit **(You obviously have a never ending wardrobe though.) **for da date. Also I"m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too **(More outfits! WHY!)**."

"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik **(LOL that joke is just so damn funny.)**) gasped B"lody Mary. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit **(*rocking back and forth hugging knees* Hot Topic, I promise never to desert you even though Ebony is making me wish I loved the color pink.)**?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session **(THAT SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH FUN! *giggles and jumps up and down like five year old* Maybe we can steal candy from babies while we're at it!)**!11" said Profesor Trevolry.

"I can"t fucking wait 4 dat **(I can.) **but we need 2 get sum stuff first **(Like what?)**." said Willow.

"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore **(Ugh C'MON! NO ONE CARES ABOUT HER ADDICTION TO TRUTH/HAIR POTION!) **nd also...sum luv potion 4 Enoby **(Yea that's the only way she'd get a guy to like her . . . maybe!)**." Darko said resultantly.

"Well we have potions klass now **(That's totally where you'll be able to make two different potions in time.)**." Willow said so let"s go.

We went sexily to Potionz class** (There is no going "sexily" to potions class! Well . . . maybe Draco. The REAL Draco anyway.)**. But Snap wasn"t there. Instead there was...Cornelio Fuck!11111 **(Okay I have to admit, Cornelius IS a dumb fuck.)**

"Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore **(Up your ass and around the corner.)**!111" Draco shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck **(*Eyes widen* He yelled in a preppy way.)**. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer **(I cannot stand how Tara throws that stuff out there. Like seriously?)**. "Now do ur work!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik **(-_- We've been through this!)**!1" Vampire asked surprisedly.

"DATZ IT **(STOP YELLING Dx.)**!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE **(Aw damn, you're in trouble now!)**!111"

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer **(EW! Don't even put that taste in my thoughts, just EW!)**. Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard **(How the fuck can he fit in there O_O)**.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked **(For once I'm wondering the same thing.)**. Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva **(Yes because nothing is sexier than a ton of guyliner.)**. Suddenly..."HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted **(Oh look he caught on.)**.

I looked around...Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod** (Wait, what?)**!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily **(How do you beat someone up sexily . . .?)**.

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid **(*snorts*)**. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was...Amnesia Portion **(*headdesk*)**!111


	37. Chapter 37

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY **(Oh thank you for posting this in big letters, we wouldn't have seen it otherwise. Phew!) **SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX **(Sadly, she didn't end it T-T)**. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story **(XD "Oh yea, I almost forgot my usual rant on the preps.")**!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation **(Die Raven. DIEEE)**!11

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL **(…LOL! That's so fjucking funny!)**

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor **(O.O)**.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot **(I'm pretty sure Darko is high as fuck right now.)**. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster **(…Amnesia is—but—and—GAH!)**!1"

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata **(xD Tata. Even if she makes the mistake of putting the name Tara instead of Ebony, she still can't spell her own name right.)**," said Vampire. "Why would u need it **(Even a love potion wouldn't work for her. Oh nevermind it would. We're in Tara World. I'm your tour guide. If you make it through the story alive I'll give you souvenir "I Survived the Terror, Tara" T-shirts!) **?"

"To make everyfing go faster lol** (I hate dialogue that's in text talk -_-)**." said Enoby.

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly **(Yup. Then maybe when your crying over her I can hit you over the head with a bat and THEN maybe, just maybe, the sense will have been knocked into!)**.

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep **(Don't worry Britney, we're scared too. Come join us.)**.

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow **(MAKE HER!)**.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room **(Have fun. *trys to sneak away, but alas, I'm stuck with these losers.)**."

Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room **(You do realize that Professor Sinistra and Professor Trelawney are two different teachers, right?)**. But Profesor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was **(Ugh the guy who gave clothes away.)**.

Oh hi fuckers he said **(Am I the only one who would get beat up if I said that to someone?)**. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez **(…yay.)**.

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said 666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset** (I don't even bother trying to read about the outfits anymore. I just skip to the end of the sentence.)**.

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way** (…I'm not even going to ask.)**. I took da clothes in da bag.

"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do **(You can do whatever you want, just please don't do each other Dx)**?" asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall. **(Ooh…a sign O.O Gather round people! It must be important!)**

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it **(Stop. Screaming. Or the next time you DO scream will be because I will be KILLING YOU!))**. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away **(Heh. Sucks for you.)**. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now **(…then why is Ebony and her cult not there?)**. Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal** (*cough* HEADMASTER *cough*)** 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily **(I suppose I wasn't specific enough. No more screaming, OR shouting!)**. "How could they do that **(Cuz they like seeing me get pissed by your constant girly shrieks.)**!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily **(Damn loopholes Dx. Dumbledore can't scream or shout either!)**. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine **(…I rue the day Tara's parents met.)**!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire** (I wish I could jump seductively. Just kidding. I'm not a slut.)**. Sudenly I wuz back in tim **(Get out of Tim!)**!11 I looked around. It was...Profesor Slutborn's efface **(Stop calling the poor guy Slutborn!)**! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it** (And you would give that to someone—Oh right. I momentarily forgot who I was talking to.)**. It was the shape of a cross **(Pentagrams and crosses are two things that DO NOT go together.)**. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz...Profesor Slutgorn **(DUN DUN DUUUUN! Sorry, adds to the dramatic effect. Then again, there is nothing dramatic about it.)**!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING **(Good comeback?) **I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class **(Nice excuse. Then again you are retarded. Anyone would buy that coming from you.)**." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket **(O.o What are you narrating this now!)**.

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn. **(. . . Well if this is supposed to be Slughorn he IS pretty easy to fool.)**

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes **(O_O What is happening? Are . . . are you her conscience? I AM SO CONFUZZLED!)**. Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR **(. . . Huh?)**.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively** (Boo you whore!)**. "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh he's cumming." said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now **(. . . You did NOT go there. Hades is my favorite Disney villain Dx MY CHILDHOOD HAS BEEN RUINED!)**." Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie **(*asleep*)**.

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan. **(Is it just me or has everyone else completely lost what is going on?)**


	38. Chapter 38

**AN: Almost over with people! Just bear with it a little longer!**

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory **(YAY!) **and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation **(God damn it!)**?oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not **(I don't wanna.)**!1111111

Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it** (How can a goth not even spell black right?)**. On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco's car.I went in it seduktivly **(If I attempted to get in a car seductively I'd probably hit my head on the car.)**_**.**_ Stan started 2 drive it.**(First Tim, now Stan! Dx) **We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan **(…No shit.)**), kuttting,musik and being goffik **(Yes because goth people constantly talk about those things.)**.

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" Volxemort **(Wait, what happened to Satan?)**agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy **(For the last time…I don't want to screw a bi guy! Stop telling me to, damn it!)**)

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena **(Well I'm really sorry you heard it then!)**."

I said in a flirty voice **(Whore.)**. "...Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?" **(Yea, stop drinking it.)**

"Well..." he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod." **(Of. Fucking. Course.)**

Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist **(Oh look, an actual horror movie!)**. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol **(…I've never seen this movie but I am pretty positive that there is no serial or cereal killers in it.)**.Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists **(Freaks more like it.)**.

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily **(She can even steal sexily! Ain't our Ebony just so talented?) **from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it **(When is this story over? I just wanna quit!)****. **I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag **(….Uhh….no comment.)**.Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere **(Stop mixing my beautiful Nightmare Before Christmas with your sick, demented story Dx)**.

"OMG!111" Satan said jumping up.__I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. "Enoby gess what?"__

I new then that the amnesia had worked **(I knew then that Ebony does not know what amnesia is.)**.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work."He said **(o.o)**. "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u." **(O.O)**

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly **(Yea, I totally see what's cool about it.)**.And den... he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out **(Not this again! And in the middle of a movie theater! Think of the children!)(Oh yea, it's a horror film. There are no children. But please, people don't want to be THAT scared!)**.I tok of his shit **(xD)**.He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 **(So does every guy in this damn story!)**We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep. **(*eating popcorn* Run prep woman, RUN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!)**

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly... I attaked her suking all her blood **(*sniffle* I warned her everyone, I tried but she didn't listen.)**.

"Noooooo!11" she screamed **(*salutes and reads poem that just now popped into head* May her memory live on, for she stood up to Satan's spawn.)**. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped **(*Nearly spits out lemonade from laughing*)** koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether **(Yes because that's my first instinct to do when I see a psychotic chick sucking someone's blood.)**.Satan and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did u do that?" Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice. **(Yea watching my date kill someone turns me on too.) (Then again, this IS Voldemort.)**

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car. **(No you're not dumbass! You can go in the fjucking sun! *goes into long rant*-and that's why the color yellow makes me sad I think…)**

"Siriusly?" he gasped. **(You cannot use that joke! Only true Potterheads can!)**

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer **(Good for ya.)**.Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily **(Woof.)**.

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink **(It's Ebony world, she can just make a TV come running out of the Forbidden Forest with that movie playing.)**?"

"Yah." I said as we kised passively **(EW! *points childishly*)**_**. **_Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time **(Oh…THIS place...)**. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol **(…It's hilarious.)**.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin**(Nemo's dad! *has geek attack*)** on da stage. We did the devil fingers.I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay **(Shmexy is my word you bitch! I NEED A FRYING PAN TO KNOCK HER OUT WITH!))**!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way **(Who? I lose track of all these people that she compares the guys to.)**. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing **(o.o)**.

"I wood like to peasant...XBlakXTearX!11" he said. I ran onstage **(NONONONO DON'T SUBJECT US TO THIS TORTURE!)**. Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there**. **They started 2 play their instilments **(…Instilments?)**. I got onstag **(You got on a stag? Well go ride it! WHEEE!)**.

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy **(…This sentence made no sense. You can't sound like a pentagram!)**.

Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation**(….K.).** "I'M NUT OKAY!1"I sang finaly **(We know. There's some people at St. Mungo's who may or may not be able to help you. But with your case I doubt they can do much.)**. Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak **(BOOO! HISS!)**.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut the fuck?" **(Temper, temper.)**

"Woops im sory!" said Lucian.** (See he said he was sorry!)**

"You fuking ashhole!1" James shouted angrily. **(o.o Chill guys.)**

"U guys are such prepz!11" Snap said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1" **(Snap and Lucian=BROMANCE!)**

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Serious.** (Did Ebony legitly mix up how to spell Sirius and serious?)**

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro. **(Chick fight! Chick fight! Chick fight!)**

"U guys stop!11" I shotoedangrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife. **(Aw damn, we gotta badass over here.)**

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm **(James, shoot everyone! Then shoot yourself!)**

And den...I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11 **(OH MY GOD PLEASE FUCKING DIE! PLEASE!)**

"No!111" yielded everyonebut it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak. **(Did we kill her off folks? Sadly, no. I wish. But unfortunately she keeps escaping Death.)**


	39. Chapter 39

**AN: So I stalked Tara's profile (XXXbloodyrists666XXX in case you wanted to know.) and apparently she hates preps (shocking, right?) and a bunch of so called "preppy" actresses (I know we all know this, but it gets better.). Yet her favorite movies have them in it. For example, Lindsey Lohan. She hates her but loves Mean Girls. Does this make sense? NO! Oh and she is a Twilight lover. *spits* Sorry…I hate Twilight. Doesn't surprise me that she loves it.**

AN: stfu prepz git a lif** (I have a life. Making fun of you.)**!111111 U SUCK **(Draco. PWNED!)**!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august** (…Why does this bitch keep getting to go to England? I wanna go! It's not fair Dx. Then again she's probably lying.)** so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz**. **fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!**(did anyone NOT flame this story?)**1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin **(Madam Pomfrey, why?)****. **Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up **(What did Hagrid do? .)**. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room **(I wish I had a cat that could clean. Or a dog. I'm not a big cat person. Ooh or if my hamster could clean. *cough* er, moving on.)**.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came.He loked less mean then usual. **(Yes because Voldemort is capable of being un-mean.)**

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.** (Yielded instead of yelled is getting annoying -_-)**

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" he said arngrily **(DUDE YOUR NOT SHAKESPEARE!)**.Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective. **(I don't even know what to say to that…)**

"Volxemort? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.** (*headdesks*)**

Sudenly... Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B'lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem.

Every1 was holding blak boxez **(Ugh, more presents for no reason.)**. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD. **(Bye Voldy.)**

"OMFG Enoby ur alive!111"**(Unfortunately) **Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B'lody Mary.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.**(You're already dead you vampire prep!)**

"Enoby u were almost shot!11"**(She DID get shot! Unless near death experiences knock someone out.) **said Serious. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."**(I wanna kill these people.)**

"But fangz anyway!1" said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms! **(Did he lose an arm at all .)**

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' dad shot u!1" I gasped. **(Yea believe me when I say, me either.)**

"Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." said James.**(Snap was possessed by Snap…? And you're TALKING TO VAMPIRE'S DAD!)**

"Yah he wuz a spy." Serious said sadly. "He wuz really a Death Dealer."**(I KNEW IT! Just kidding…I didn't.)**

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11"**(….Uh huhh.) **said Lucian. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him** (Who cares? Most people don't learn about things without being told or showed and what not.)**."Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents.**(She doesn't deserve them Dx) **I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it)**(You already have that film...doesn't she?) **on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz. **(Yes because only goth people watch that movie…well…only goth people totally fall in love with it I suppose. I love the movie. I'd probably be a poser to Tara, well everyone is who doesn't kiss her ass, because I'm only goth half the time. Does this make sense? Probably not. But oh well. *shrug*)**

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally.**(Yes, he's locked in my basement.)**

"No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax."**(Okay I lied…..Hoes of Wax? *snickers*) **said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally.**(I'm getting a headache…) **Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing**(NOT AGAIN Dx) **a blak leather nightgun.**(What the hell is a nightgun?) **Underthat I had on a sexxy blak leather bra **(I don't care)** trimed wif blak lace**, **with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong **(Ew.) **(if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u)**(DON'T MESSAGE HER IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYES!).** I put on a blak fishnettop under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak laceand congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.** (O.O I just realized…that Tara must be Stephanie Meyer. IT ALL MAKES SENSE! All these guys in love with her, keeps not dying when she should. The world is once again in balance for me.)**

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.**(Derp)**

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.**(Giggle again Harry and I swear…*brandishes Beaters bat*.)**

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" said Hermoine**.(. Hermione? She used her real name?) **We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den...I gasped... Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111**(…/3)** He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.**(yeah because what they're wearing is so important right now!)**

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily. **(Yes because if my boyfriend cheated on me with an older man my first thought was that he MUST be a prep.)**

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.**(US? Vampire what the fuck have you got to do with this?)**

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's.**(...how the hell do you put a thingie into a thingie?)**

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willow trying 2 attak him **(EEK! IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE TREE'S!)** (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out**. (She sexily tried to commit suicide with a filet…seems legit.)**

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it **(How do u slit your wrists with steak?) **suddenly everyfing went blak again.**(BLEED BITCH BLEEEEED.)**


	40. Chapter 40

**AN: Thank you everyone for your reviews! I love you guys! Just hang in a little longer. We fought on this long, we can do it! *strikes heroic pose***

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF** (Only a few more chapters…only…a…few… . )**! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is** (I had no idea until I read this. He's not even that good looking!) **ur proly al prepz and pozers **(Hell yea.)**!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November dey put up my last chaptah **(Brave soul, risking getting the blood sucked out of em.)** but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updatin while but ive been rilly bizzy **(…Doing what? You have no life! Unless she was in some sort of psycho place O.O and then she escaped therefore, I'M DOOMED Dx)**. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out** (I think she must mean Order of the Phoenix 'Cuz that's around the time this thing came out.) **. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks **(How many vacations does this chick get to go on? Unless these "vacations" are the psycho place for trying to suck someone's blood in public.)**. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie** (He's mine bitch.)**!111I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako.if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 **(Do it, do it, DO IT!) **raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland **(If this Raven bitch goes to England one. More. Fjucking. Time. I WILL KICK A CASTLE!)(Not that there are any castle's where I am...)**.

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room **(And a voice from a tape recorder that's dangling from the ceiling says, "Hello Ebony. I want to play a game.)"**. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 **(Whoa, she re-wears an outfit?)** I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band **(Honey, stories don't work like that.)**2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles **(OH FUCK NO! SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK! I'M GONNA KILL HER!) **calanderwith a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.' **(*is sobbing into her pillow* WHYYYYYYYY? I-I mean, I'm not a HUGE Beatles fan but I was brought up on that kind of music. THAT MUSIC IS MY CHILDHOOD WHICH SHE JUST DESTROYED!)**

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again **(*looks up from pillow, still wailing* Leave Tim alone you heartless bitch!)**!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!** (No. Shit.)**). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11 **(…She can't even use the word "orgy" right.)**

"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally.** (*twirling wand* She won't be for loooong.)**

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily **(He was just trying to be nice o.O. Heheh did anyone else picture her snapping her fingers and getting all sassy.)**. "OMG am I dedd **(*Admiring wand* You will be sooooon.)**?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111 **(*Is trying not to hex all of them*)**

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing **(It's amazing how she escapes death. One day it'll come to collect *smiles eerily*.)**. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine **(You can't use the time-turner to go to the future! *looks around uncertainly* Can you?)**.

"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily** (There is nothing sexy about smoking.)**and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet **(She keeps changing everything Dx first she can't die 'Cuz she was "from the future", now it's 'Cuz she's a vampire?)**. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing **(…Ebony's dad is in this .)**."**(Oh, she meant Harry. *troll face*)**

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future** (But he—and you—and I—whatever *pouts*.)**. "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew **(This make's sense.) (Just kidding, it doesn't.)**

"Yah I know but he had a headache **(I wonder if at Tara's house she uses that excuse after cussing her parents out, which I'm sure she does the little delinquent.)**he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly. **(Reasoned evilly?) **

"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly **(Seductively has become my least favorite word after forty chapters of it being used stupidly.) **outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy **(Not another one DX)**!11He had bleched blond hair **(Only Draco can pull that off ;D)**wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties **(…Green Day wasn't out in the 80s for the hundredth time.)**), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday **(*yawns loudly*)** and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically. **(You spoke to her new "goffik" guy. *crosses arms* You are one of THEM.)**

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him. **(Ebony dear, we talked about your social skills.)**

"Dis is...Hedwig **(…Well…*points wand at own head* Avada Kedevra!)**!11" Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b. **(*Somehow escapes death since we ARE in Tara world* You do realize you're trying to seduce an OWL!)**

"Lol hi Enoby."He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature **(Yes I'm sure he'd like to learn about his fellow ANIMALS!)**. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok! **(…This isn't five year old playtime where you say, "Let's pretend this!")**)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up **(Yea, there was a hot screech owl he preferred. *dies of laughter even though it wasn't really funny but there is a slight chance that the author of this has finally cracked* Ahh I kill me!)**." Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether **(Now she thinks she's cupid!)**!" I said fingering** (O_O) **something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz! **(It's okay everyone! I not know not what she said.)**).

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys." **(*Le scared*)**

Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him. **(Just my opinion but if it were me, I'd get a restraining order. Or an exorcist since he had been "possessed".)**

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1" **(*snickers* They were never friends in the first place dipshits.)**

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.** (Hm, I think this is the longest she's stuck with a plot. A crappy plot but she seems to remember what happened in the last chapter. Sorta.)**

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great **(Oh DEFINITLY. This is so flawless.)**. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him **(Like you'd care.)**! Now Vampire's dad wood never die and **(….…and what?) **"OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out **(Ugh.)**." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.**(Creeper.)**

"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily **(Gag me with a shovel.)**. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily **(MY VIRGIN EYES Dx)**. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.

"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock **(Glockenspiel.) **touched Voldemort's **(Tuba.)**.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame...Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111 **(…Awkward.)**


	41. Chapter 41

**AN: As you can see, I'm rushing to end this. It's almost over and I can't take it anymore Dx my brain cells are dying! **

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111.**(Like she's gonna read it.) **I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort **(*facepalm*) **koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!1111**(Or if you actually read the other books you would know why Snape hates Harry you idiot.)** nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111**(O.o That actually sort of happened.) **omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?**(If JK did that, I'd kill her. I'm not a homophobic but I don't do slash. AT ALL.)** If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!111111**(…She just insulted the greatness that is J.K. Rowling. SHE IS THE QUEEN AND OUR SAVIOR! DON'T YOU INSULT HER OR DARE MAKE ANY ACCUSATION'S OR I WILL TAKE YOUR HAND AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!)** fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111**(...Someone was willing to help? And the name was Medusa? Oh lord, she's seeing things now.)**

I sat depressedly in Dumbledork's office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. **(You could be screwing Draco (the REAL Draco, that is ) and you'd STILL be depressed. Though that will never happen. 'Cuz he's MINE!) **Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly **(Whoa, déja vou.)**. He looked more young den he did in da future.** (O.O People age with time? I bet Draco's father didn't know that .!) **He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.**(…If it's shitty then why is on your iPod? And how the hell does he know how to work it?)**

"What da hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly**. (Never mind…)** I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.** (It's so obvious that you are that words can't even BEGIN to describe it.)**

"Whatever u do don't blame Ibony, u jerk." Satan said**. (*adds Ibony to list of names that Tara writes instead of Ebony*)**

"Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together." Serious said deviantly.** (Stop making "Serious" say "Sirius"! "Sirius" should be saying "Sirius". I mean, SIRIUSLY? Whoa . now I'm confused.)**

"Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled.**(Cockled. Heh. Heh. Heh.)** "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban!**(That isn't lucky for them!...But it sure as hell is lucky for us :D go for it!)** That will teach u to copolate**(Huh. If that word was spelled correctly it would work!)** in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. **(Ugh.)** Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod.**(Let's smash it and see how strong it is.) **It was slowly chonging!**(CHONG CHONG!)**Dumblydore didn't notece.

"You fucking poser." I muttoned **(Muttoned…not cool bro. Leave the lambs alone.)**

"I bet you've never herd of GC." James said.**(Because it hasn't come out yet!)** Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly's tim machine!11**(-_-)**

"Shut up Jomes!" Drako's dad shouted**. (O.o But he's on your side!)**

"Yeah shut up!" Snake said preppily.** (Okay, picture Alan Rickman saying that like a prep XD I just made you either laugh, smirk, or inwardly laugh. You're welcome.)**

"No u shut up Dumblydore!1111" said Tom.**(I'm so confused.)**

"I've had enough of u Satanists in my school!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously.**(Yea I've had enough of them too. Kill them and the flamers and I may let you live.)**

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him.**(But it's a car now!) **"Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 it.**(It's an iPod Dx you CAN'T.)** But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was… …**(Gee, the suspense is killing me.)** ..Satan.**(No. Way.)  
><strong>  
>"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.<strong>(I wonder if Tara kidnaps children and interviews them for insults…)<strong>

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing**(I DON'T CARE! NO ONE CARES!)** a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz,a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pinkpentagromson dem. My earrings**(Someone shut her up.) **were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.**(Can I hit something?)**

"Hey kool where iz dis?" he asked in an emo voice. **(He knows too much. KILL EACH OTHER.)**

"Dis is da future. Dumbeldore's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him.**(Tim/3 poor dude.)**

"Kool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered.**(If I guy ever whimpered I'd laugh. I'm sorry but I so would.)**

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.**(Now you're bringing the yaks into this Dx)**

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?"**(Are we doing a crossword puzzle now?) **he esked in his sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?"**(Sand is not dirt.**) I laid confuesdly**.**

"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon."**(This makes sense HOW?)** He triumphently giggled.**(…Two more chapters….so close to the end….)**

Suddenly some of my friends walked in. **(You have friends!)**

"OMG you're fucking alive!"**(Sadly, yes.) **said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.**(Because you dodged all my spells, bombs, bullets, cannonballs, and machine guns.)**

"Konichiwa, bitch."**(-_-) **said Willow. She was wearing **(I DONT CARE) **a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it **(Never…ending….) **she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Diabolo **(Ron/3)** with his red hair**).** He waz wearing **(* le ignores until the end of the outfit description*) **a black P?ATD **(*le can't resist* its P!ATD!)**t-shit and blak baggy pants.

"Hey whose that, Ibony**(Ibony. Hehe.)**?" B'loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing **(WHEN WILL THIS END?) **a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pantswith blak lace,and black stolettoes. **(One more outfit description and I shall cry.)**

"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry. **(Until Ebony gave him a bottle and his rainbow blankie.)**

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly. **(Stupid thing to ask when he's CRYING!)**

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" he asked. **(What happened to your love for the OWL?)**

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.** (Ebony can you say, "I'm a whore"?)**

"Ok." He said ressuredly. **(She has a boyfriend!...CORRECTION: She has MY boyfriend!)** I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCRon my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz.**(What things? I wanna know Dx)** I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. **(…Just like that? What did you put in the pot!) **I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!1111 She was wearing **(*flips a table* GAH! I CAN'T TAKE IT! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU PEOPLE I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SCREAMING!) **a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner**.**

"Oh my fucking god, where's Draco!111 **(….*shi0fty eyes* Nowhere of consequence.) **How did Snap get back here **(Someone poured milk on him and he popped over here.)**! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan."**(You thought he was in Eurasia! Yup, Azerbaijan is a real place.) **I asked sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Trevolry said reassuredly**.(...I have never felt so sorry for the discrimination against preps before. They're getting blamed for EVERYTHING in this. When school starts again, I'm gonna hug a prep and apologize. Just kidding. I don't feel like getting arrested again—OH NO I'VE SAID TOO MUCH Dx)**

"That bitch!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?" I shouted angrily **(Yup and now she's coming for YOU!)**. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep. **(Whoa, I like did not know this!)**

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!" Trevolry said worriedly. **(So everyone is hiding from Snape now?)**

"OK. But where's Dracko? How cum he was doing it with Snap?"**(Because you MADE HIM!)**

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." **(ALMOST kill yourself. *sniffle*) **she said.

"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. **(Your FACE is terrible!)(Sorry, bad joke.) **Satan was still asleep, **(If we're lucky he won't wake up.) **so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" **(Bye *waves cheerfully* Please die!) **wiv dat I ran out.

"Good luck Tara!11" everyone cried. **(Such a Mary Sue. I mean, sure I've written stories where I base a character after me and stuff for my girlish hopes and dreams but this is just RIDONKULOUS! Plus, I at least can admit to it! And I'm not as annoying as Tara.)(At least I hope I'm not…am I? O.O)**

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer.**(DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUM!) **On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram **(For a "Satanist", she has no idea what a pentagram is.) **of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!" she laughed. **(This sounds like how Ebony talks.)**

"Crucious!1" **(At least she didn't yell "Crookshanks".)** I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand **(And at least she's not using her wand just to trip someone xD) **and she started screaming koz she was being tortured **(Sucks.) **and I laughed sodistically.

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Britney screamed terrifiedly. **(You tried to kill off Ebony so if I could help, I would. But my hands are tied in the matter.)**

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. **(Why does she have it?) **I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. **(O.o may I ask why? No, I don't want to know.)** Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. **(…Okay I kinda wanna know.) **When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG Vampira!111" **(I knew Vampire was a girl! How many guys giggle?) **I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily **(Each udder? XD COWS.)**. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were **(Sooomeeeoneee shooooot meeee.)** blak eyeliner and iShadow. **(Looks like Steve Jobs created a line of cosmetics before he died.)** His He wus wearing **(This is the longest, most painful chapter.)** a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. **(I thought he looked like Gerard Way! I'M SO FJUCKING CONFUZZLED!) **(did u hear der song da river it rox!1) **(I shall never listen to what you like…*is tempted to look up Good Charlotte, Green Day, and MCR just to see*.)**"I wus so worried you died **(I'm more worried that she DIDN'T.)**!" moaned Vampire.

"I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, **(Still trying to figure out how that happened.) **so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me." **(Actually he followed you.)  
><strong>  
>"Where's Draco?" I asked spuriously. <strong>(She asked falsely? That's what spuriously means.) <strong>

"Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you **(He betrayed us all -_-)**?" Vampir snarkled** (SNARKLED!)** with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY. **(Ebony, you're not smart!)**

"I'll do it den." Harry said angstily. **(That's the teen vampire spirit!)**

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly… … … .all da lights in da room went out. **(I thought you were in the hall?) **And den….da Dork Mark appeared. **(MY ARMY OF NERDS BROKE THROUGH THE GATES! GET HER!)**

"Oh my fucking satan!" Harry shouted.

"I fink Voldimort has arrivd." I sed anxiously. **(I thought you were hiding from Snap.) **"Fuck, I have to find Draco!1 I guess we shood separate." **(*riding on unicorn* CHAAARGE!)**

"Ok." Vampire sed diapperating. **(Has ANYONE read "Hogwarts, a History"?) **Sadly I ran into the Great Hall. **(You were already there!)**


	42. Chapter 42

**AN: Hello everyone! First, thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and followers! You guys make my day! And second, *puts on announcers voice* Want to read a REAL OC HP story with interesting characters and it sticks to the plot line? Then go to the page, **** ~mastersofmichiefmwahaha**** because, very soon an epicly EPIC story written by my friend and yours truly will be posted. No grammar issues or spelling or permanent scarring! So go there and follow so that way, when we post it, you'll know. One last thing, me and my friend made that account when I was like thirteen (I'm sixteen now) and she was fifteen and we haven't updated any of the information since so the information about our interests in EXTREMELY WRONG. Thank you and love you all!**

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz** (Yet there's only one more, thank God!)**.Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk **(The only good reviewer you get is Raven. Maybe.)**!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111

I walked sexily into the Great Hall **(The only people who can walk sexily are, 1. Draco Malfoy. 2. Cloud Strife (From Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts))** .It was empty except for one person. Draco was there** (THIS Draco can't walk sexily. He shouldn't even be able to walk! I mean, he's died HOW many times?) **! He sat der in deddly bloom** (In deddly bloom? I'm just gonna nod my head and pretend I know what she's talking about…) **in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants.He had slit his wrists** (…Are we supposed to feel sorry for him…?)**!111I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape **(Yea for once in your life you have a legitimate excuse for being mad. Kinda. I mean, YOU'RE the writer.) **but I felt sorry for him.He looked just like Gerard Way** (NO HE DOESN'T!)** with his red eyes and his pale white face.

"Draco are you okay?" I asked.** (Hey Tara, did you know if you say dumbass really slowly it sounds like "gullible"? *troll face*)**

"I'm not okay."he screamed depressedly **(Now look what you did! You made him scream in a depressed way.)**.I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry **(According to a source, that song is a happy song.)**.I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it **(That's a GREAT way to deal with depression.)**.

"Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked teardully.** (Because he's sick of you using words like "teardully".)**

"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us **(How could they NOT notice a couple of ogre's in the room? Er, I mean, oh whatever are they doing there?)**.

"Im so glad we me and Snape were freed." said Loopin.** (If it means you kill off Ebony then I am all for it bro.)**

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Mr. Norris argreed. **(You're talking to a cat Lupin . that's Sirius's job!)**

"Pop addelum!111" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them**. (….What the hell kinda spell is that?)**

"Noooooooo!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away. **(Run kitty, run!)**

"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressednessin my voice **(It's quite hilarious when she attempts to make a description of something because it never makes any sense, though it's clear she was trying to seem all smart.)**. "Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"** (Just tell her Dx she's not lying about torturing you! She'll take off her shirt! No one deserves that!)**

"I don't now where he is!1111" said Loopin. Suddenly Satanand Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Satan was really. **(*restrains from rolling eyes*)**

"Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire said **(…Why?)**.I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way **(We get it! You're demented enough to think he looks like this Gerard person.)**,Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Ieroand Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then **(Whoever THEY are.)**.

I selectively took the caramel **(*Le gasp* I knew she was giving "candy" to innocent little kids!)** from my pocket. And then... I began frenching Draco sexily **(I TOLD YOU SHE WAS GONNA TORTURE YOU! Now do you believe me?)**.Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves offand I could see his white sex-pack **(The sex-pack joke is NOT funny so STOP using it!)**. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too.We all began making out 2gther sexily **(…Talk about a talented threesome.)**.I took off my blak leather bra,my blak lace thongand the rest of my clothes.Every1 took their glocks **(Glockenspiel's.)** out except 4 me im a girl lol **(Are you quite sure? You're not even a guy! What the hell is she anyway? Never mind, don't EVEN get me started.)**."Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy **(Ewie)****. **Den he did da same fing to Harry **(…Harry has no "thingy". Well, not a female "thingy". Tara really needs to take a class on human anatomy!)**.I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasure **(Everyone, SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF WIZARD GOD!)**. Loopin watched in shock.Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists **(This is so beyond wrong…)**.Suddenly...a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. **(And it squashed Ebony.)**


	43. Chapter 43

**AN: Last chapter! WHOO! BUTTERBEER FOR EVERYONE! *hands out mugs of butterbeer* Before you ask, no the mugs are NOT from the Hogs Head. Pshh. *shifty eyes***

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 **(For someone who has nothing to say, she has way too much to say -_-) **if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 tom fleton is so hot **(You can't even spell his name right! You don't even deserve to look at him! He deserves someone more worthy…LIKE ME!) **lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik **(Yea, that totally happened.) **koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!1111 **(I'm pretty sure she means Order of the Phoenix. Which, I suppose he acts slightly emo with his depression. But he has an extremely good excuse.) **omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak. **(….What is dubya? Does she like, die? 'Cuz this is the last chapter ^_^)**

"Dat's mi car!" shooted Draco angrily. **(SUCKS!) **But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Snape! **(We knoooow.)**

"I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads." he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. **(What does that even MEAN?) **"Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. **(I agree! GET HER!) **Den the Dork Lord shall never die!" **(I don't care, just get on with this!)**

"You fucking prep!" **(No, all he wants is for Ebony to die! SO DO I!) **yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly."I forgot to tell u, Ebony. **(That you regained your memory and I'm the one you truly want?)(Heh, I wish.) **Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sexx him but he's a ropeist!" **(He ropes people! Good, make it a noose and end Ebony already! Then I can finally go to sleep without having to check under my bed for her…)**

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!1 But Satan didn't change Instead he changed **(But you JUST said he didn't change—ugh.) **into a man with gren **(I thought they were red...) **eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into… **(Invader Zim.) **Voldemont!111 **(Aww, phooey!)**

"I knew who thou were all along." **(Yer a prep Ebony!)(Ebony: A what?)(A prep!)(Ebony: *slits wrists*) **he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me."Now I shall kill thee all **(If she MUST make him speak like that, the correct way to say that sentence would be "Now I shall kill all of thee". I think that's how it should be, anyway.)**!" Thunder came in da room. **(Thunder just like walked into the room? Dude, that's awesome.)**

"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. **(Deal with it. Everyone's gotta die eventually! Especially you *points at Ebony*) **Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in. **(O_O She kept Fred and George? .)**

"What is da meaning of dis?" **(*shrug* I don't know. I'm just the commentator. I'm about as confused as you.)** Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) **(…That doesn't mean he would look away all shy and scared!) **He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. **(BROOMS CAN BE SEXY NOW? HOLY SHIT!) **Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.

"Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik) **(FOR THE FINAL TIME TARA, IT'S NOT FUNNY! NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I COME OVER AND TAKE "SLUGBORN" AND SHOVE HIM UP YOUR NOSE!)**

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated **(O_O Ejaculated is definitely not the right word…then again this is Tara and she would be that sick and weird.) **menacingly.

"You fucking preppy fags!" Serious shouted angrily. **(I really hate when people use the word fag.) **

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!" screamed Harry **(…Tara…if this was supposed to be some kind of epic plot twist, it's not. Why? CUZ WE CAN COUNT! Besides, since when was that another word for dirt? And I thought it was supposed to be sand! Which isn't dirt either, but it's what Ebony said.) **but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. It fell down **(Aw damn it.) **Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera. **(Cideo, video, GAH!)**

"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with **(with the owl? I assume that's what she wanted to finish with.)**

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. **(This is just like Pretty Little Liars with the blackmailing…so…all this time A was Snape?) **Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton **(I am gonna piss myself from laughing xD Paris Hilton is the TOTAL opposite of a Goth! BWHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BREATH!)**." He laughed meanly. 

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin** (*shudders* Eww.)**!11"

"Whats she talking abott?" Lupin slurped **(a chocolate milkshake) **as he sat in chains. **(That must be uncomfortable.)**

"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Harry shouted angrily. **(You're not exactly in the position to be making threats. Because they can just kill you.)**

"Shut up!111'" Lumpkin roared. **(Excuse me I gotta go find the Peanuts gang and tell Linus that the Great Pumpkin exists and he won't be giving out gifts anytime soon.)**

"Foolish ignoramuses!" **(…Big word. But I'm NOT looking it up.) **yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye **(their hair pink.) **soon."

"Think again you fucking muggle poser** (He's posing as a muggle?)**!1" Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one. **(Sure, screw the wands. They're useless anyway. *facepalm*)**

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111" I shouted despariedrly.**(…What the hell is a Latin stand-of?)**

"Acco Nevel's wand!11" cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil's wind was in his hands. **(Hm she got a spell right. Though it wasn't spelled right. Wait, what happened to the guns?) **"Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!11111" **(YAY!)**

He maid lighting come all over da place. **('Cuz he can control weather like a boss.)**

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried. **(Dumbledark? That his new Goth name?) **

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends **(…normally when I'm somewhere I don't wanna be, I wanna be at home, sipping tea, and watching movies. But slitting wrists sounds like a GREAT activity.)** while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco **(So you want to slit your wrists, while you watched two movies at the same time, while having sex with Draco…seems legit.) **but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent **(Jump off a cliff.)**.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted.** (…The famous last words of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.)**

**AN: Well…we did it! *shaking like a leaf with wild look in eye* I'm sad to say that we had a few casualties. Raise your wand for a moment of silence for those brave people who couldn't finish reading this because of how horrible it is. Thank you all for sticking with me! I love all of you! I'll miss you guys so much :'). One last thing, I was re-reading one of the old chapters because I remembered something. In one chapter, Tara said that something about Lake Placid and it being a depressing movie. I just recently watched that movie (against my will) XD It's about an alligator that swam all the way from Africa to this lake in Maine and is fed and taken care of by this crazy old woman for years until it's absolutely HUGE. So then it starts attacking and eating people until it's finally caught. But then it turned out to have a mate (which they killed the second they saw it instead of sparing it like the other one). But, OH NO! They had babies! Which leads to Lake Placid II….anyway, the whole point is it's not a depressing movie. Just a Sci Fi movie. The best part about it…one of the main characters is MAD-EYE! SQUEE! If it weren't for him, I would have ran. I have a major fear of crocodiles/alligators. *shudder* So at last, don't forget to check out me and my friend's Harry Potter story (Though it isn't out yet, but link to the profile is on previous chapter so if you follow us you'll know when it comes out ^_^)! It actually sticks to canon! Mostly ;D. **


End file.
